


Personal and Working Relationships

by Lets_call_me_Lily, rebelmeg



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Humor, Aunt Peggy Carter, Awesome Pepper Potts, BAMF Pepper Potts, Bot Feels, F/M, First Meetings, Iron Man 1, James "Rhodey" Rhodes Needs a Hug, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, MIT bros, Medical Trauma, Missing Scene, Obadiah Stane is a Dick, Peggy Carter is Tony Stark's Godparent, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Pre-Iron Man 1, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture, Worried Jarvis (Iron Man movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-17 04:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18957616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lets_call_me_Lily/pseuds/Lets_call_me_Lily, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Before they were Pepperony, they were Virginia Potts and Mr. Stark.  But every time he made her laugh, he became more Tony, and she became more Pepper.  This is the story of the ups and downs of what started as a working relationship, turned into a friendship, and would later become something much more personal.*Fantastic art by Lets_call_me_Lilyfound here!!!*





	1. The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> I've read the Iron Man novelization, and I cherry-picked a few details to implement into this fic, since I like sticking to canon, for the most part. And since missing scenes is one of my favorite things to write, I've got a whole lotta that geared up for ya.
> 
> I had a few wonderful betas and cheer readers, Faustess, Judy_the_Dreamer, and Lore!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Art for this chapter by Lets_call_me_Lily found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024555)!

When Virginia Potts first began working for Stark Industries in 2002, she was a twenty-three year old fresh out of college with a business degree, and determined to make a difference. She started, as all new employees did, in the mail room (which had been stupidly competitive, as working at SI was a dream job for lots of people and it came with tons of connections), and she was treated to all the gossip. Most particularly, the rumors and warnings surrounding the CEO, Tony Stark. _He's a womanizer, he’ll break your heart, he eats the new girls like you for lunch, Virginia._

By the time she worked her way up to the top floor in 2004, a secretary position with a desk right outside Mr. Stark’s office, she had heard everything there was to be said about him. _He's crazy, he's actually identical twins, he's kinky, he's secretly gay, he's an alcoholic, his bodyguard is really his brother, you wouldn't believe it, Potts_. There was a never-ending list. Except for one thing… one thing that no one had thought to warn Virginia about in the two years she spent working under SI’s roof.

Tony Stark was _funny_. Like, _really_ funny. The first time she saw him from her new position at the desk right across from the elevator, he caught her eye and cracked a joke that caught her so off-guard, she actually laughed aloud.

She had been slightly mortified, what kind of an impression would that give him, but he had just beamed at her approvingly and said, “Thank you, thank you, you may now feel free to call me Tony Snark.”

Virginia had spent the next several minutes trying to stop giggling between handling phone calls. And the way Mr. Stark had grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows as he went into his enormous office did not help.

Before the end of the week, she had found it necessary to hit the mute button while on a call six different times, because every single time the man passed by her desk, he had another one ready to go. And it wasn’t always a joke. One time he had been following Obadiah Stane, his business partner and second-in-command, to the elevator while the older man was in the middle of obviously arguing with him about something. Mr. Stark had turned to Virginia and rolled his eyes in so comical a fashion that she had literally snorted with laughter, and had to duck down under the edge of the desk when Mr. Stane turned at the noise.

It was frustrating, how easily Mr. Stark made her laugh. He didn’t even seem to be trying all that hard, it was just… how he was. None of the other secretaries seemed to have that problem, in fact, most of them rolled their eyes or outright ignored him when he wasn’t speaking to them.

Virginia was tangled up in knots of dread when Mr. Stark asked her over the intercom to come into his office for a minute near the end of the workday on Friday, and it took everything in her to stop wringing her hands once she went through the doors. She had been trying so hard to be professional, but he was just so _funny_!

He was lounging on his office chair, tipping it back as far as it would go, and idly turning it back and forth while he looked out the plate-glass windows behind his desk, a cup of coffee in his hand as there always was. The man main-lined coffee like it was keeping him alive, and there were interns or assistants in and out of his office all day long when he was there, bearing a fresh cup of brew. He smiled when he saw Virginia, and immediately stood, motioning for her to sit in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk.

“Hey, come on in, just need to borrow you for a quickie.”

Virginia couldn’t stop her immediate reply. “I’m not sure that would be appropriate during office hours.”

Mr. Stark burst out laughing, righting his chair with a jerk and nearly slopping coffee all over himself. “No! Not like that! A minute! A quick minute! 

She couldn’t help but giggle, and it took quite a lot of effort to compose herself as she sat down and he continued to chuckle. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and though he was smiling, she was still somewhat terrified that she was about to be fired, especially with that comment she’d just made.

Mr. Stark scooted his chair forward and tapped his hands on his desk, like a drummer counting off a beat, then laced his fingers together and looked at her. “So, how’s the big desk treating you—” He paused, his eyes narrowing, obviously trying to remember her name. His eyes fell to her access badge for the elevator that she had pinned on her jacket, with her picture and _V. Potts_. “Virginia?”

She grimaced slightly. She never had liked her given name, and she’d never been able to get any kind of nickname to stick. “Yes.”

“That’s… that’s terrible.”

She nodded a little glumly. “I know.”

“Hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries by saying so?” He actually looked concerned about it, his eyebrows quirking down as he studied her face, and it eased some of the anxiety that had been dogging her all day.

“No, if you overstep any boundaries, I’ve got pepper spray in my purse.”

Mr. Stark’s eyes lit up with laughter at her deadpan delivery. “You’ve got some sass in you, Virginia Potts.” He made another face and shook his head. “Nope, still terrible, we’ve gotta find something else to call you.”

Virginia chuckled. “I’ve tried, I promise. Nothing sticks.”

“Well, to be fair, _I_ haven’t tried yet. I’ve been told I have excellent staying power.”

She tried, heaven help her, she _tried_ , but a tiny giggle escaped before she clamped her lips together, and she could feel a blush crawling up her neck.

If anything, his grin was even wider now, and his eyes were twinkling. “And you have proven you have a stellar sense of humor, excellent.” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them as he got down to business. “Now that you’ve had time to get used to the desk, I just thought I should treat you to a few little FYI’s. According to everyone, I am extremely high-maintenance, but as long as we keep my boring meetings to a minimum and my coffee at a maximum, we’ll get along just fine.”

Virginia nodded, taking mental notes. “Of course, sir. Um… which meetings are the boring ones?”

He looked utterly serious as he answered, “All of them.”

“Oh. Right. Um, I’ll do my very best?” She glanced around his office. “Should I arrange to have a coffee machine put in here?” 

It was… maybe 12% a joke, but considering how often he needed a fill-up, it really made much more sense to bring the coffee to him rather than keeping it three floors down with interns scuttling back and forth all day long.

Mr. Stark was looking at her like he’d just discovered a unicorn, “Marry me.”

She definitely giggled that time, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Don’t need your mace, Miss Pepper Spray?” His eyes suddenly widened. “Oh, hey! Pepper!”

Virginia tilted her head at his expectant tone, a little confused. “Yes?”

He grinned like she’d just told the best joke ever, “That’s it. I’ll call you Pepper. It fits, I think it’s the hair.” He flicked his fingers at her strawberry blonde hair caught up in a bun.

She opened her mouth to reply (no idea what she was going to say) but the phone, which rarely ever stopped ringing (everyone in the world, it seemed, wanted to talk to Mr. Stark), started up again at the desk in the lobby, and her head turned towards it. “Will that be all, Mr. Stark, or was there anything else?”

He smiled again. “That’ll be all, Ms. Pepper Potts. Oh, I do like that, that’s wonderful. I’ll remember that one. We’ll make it stick, you’ll see!”

Virginia grinned and ducked her head, walking out of his office as quickly as her heels allowed. She was pulling his office doors closed when he suddenly called out. “You make it a coffee machine that does espressos too and I’ll make you CEO!”

She laughed as she closed the doors and hurried over to the phone. She might never be able to maintain a truly serious professional attitude with Mr. Stark around, but at least her boss didn’t mind. In fact, he seemed to encourage it.

It seemed like things were going to be just fine.

* * *

Tony had to admit, as the doors closed behind ~~Virginia~~ Pepper Potts… he really liked her. He was going to have to give a bonus to whoever sent her up from payroll. 

Not only was she more than easy on the eyes (he’d always been a sucker for a redhead), but she was clever, quick with a comeback, and she seemed to legitimately find him funny. It was refreshing, considering that most people were boring and thought he was immature or something. He snorted as he dug the toes of his shoes into the floor and sent his chair spinning. Where they got that idea, he couldn’t imagine.

It had actually become something to look forward to, he realized, her being the first person he saw when he got off the elevator on the top floor. She always had a smile for him, one that didn’t have any kind of expectations or underlying plots in it. Just… a nice smile. A friendly face. Most of the friendly faces he worked with nowadays wanted something from him, be it sex or money or tech. Not that he minded all that, he was incredibly used to it, but still. She was different and it was nice. Great, even.

Tony hoped she’d be around for a good long time. 

“Pepper Potts.” He muttered to himself, swirling his coffee around in his mug as he sent his chair slowly spinning again. 

He felt like she was something he should hold onto.


	2. A Wild Rhododendron Appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nickname sticks, the humor continues, and a birthday brings a bestie to the mix.
> 
> *Art for this chapter by Lets_call_me_Lily found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024555)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will seem to end abruptly, but that's because there was no graceful way to split up a huge 3k scene, so the next chapter will pick up immediately where this one leaves off!

As the days and months passed, Virginia became Pepper. Honestly, she took to her new name like a duck to water, and had immediately informed her friends and family that she would no longer be answering to anything else. (Her mother refused to stop calling her Virginia, but Pepper supposed it was her right. The woman had gone through thirteen hours of labor for her.) When Pepper had informed Mr. Stark that he apparently _did_ have excellent staying power, he had choked on his coffee and fallen out of his chair, which was the proudest moment of her life.

Pepper had almost hoped, as time passed, that she would get better at not laughing so much when Mr. Stark was around. Maybe the jokes wouldn’t be as funny, the comical facial expressions and hand gestures would get stale. 

However, it only got worse. It was obvious that Tony Stark lit up like a firefly when he had an audience (although his public persona was, in Pepper’s opinion, quite different from who he really was), and apparently she was enough of an audience for him to pull out all the stops when she was around.

He was always pulling stupid stunts in front of the press, or saying something outrageous during a conference call, or whispering something silly in her direction in a board meeting. And Pepper would be sitting there, desperately trying to stifle her laughter, going splotchy and red from the exertion as he grinned like her amusement was his single greatest accomplishment. Tony Stark was truly the funniest person she knew, and it got to the point that she started smiling when she saw him coming, just knowing that he’d have something to say or do to make her laugh.

It went on like that for six months, and in between the lewd jokes and funny faces and spinning around in his office chair like a top, Tony Stark somehow drew Pepper Potts further and further into his life. It happened a little bit at a time, slowly and naturally enough that she didn’t even notice it happening. 

She was shocked one Saturday to realize, as she perused a menu while out at lunch with her mom, that she not only knew Tony’s favorite things from that restaurant, but that she had just referred to him as Tony, not Mr. Stark, in her mind.

She knew what his opinions were on pocket squares in his suits, precisely which blend of coffee was his favorite, how to schedule his meetings throughout the day to make it the least stressful and boring for him, and she had the key and security codes to his house in Malibu. She had even been inside several times, shrieking the first time a disembodied voice greeted her, but by now she and JARVIS were well-acquainted, and she was honestly sort of jealous she didn’t have a JARVIS in her own apartment. Pepper even knew why Tony had a black-out week every December, just before Christmas, when he disappeared entirely from the public eye, and that was something that no one else knew except for his best friend, Colonel James Rhodes, who she had yet to meet.

She had a very small, very quiet freak-out while she stared at the menu, but managed to get through lunch without her mom noticing anything odd. (Which was great, getting the third degree from her mother wasn’t something she enjoyed at any time.)

Pepper was still freaking out, and trying to hide it, when she got back to work after her break. It wasn’t until Tony came out of his office and had to say her name twice that she realized she’d been staring blankly at her computer monitor for fifteen minutes.

She felt herself blushing as she refocused. “Sorry, Mr. Stark, what was that?”

“You were seven different kinds of distracted there, Miss Potts. You okay?”

Wasn’t that the question… “Of course, I’m fine.”

He didn’t look convinced, but he let it slide, plunking his elbows down on her desk. “How was lunch? You said you were meeting your mom, right?”

It was like he _knew_. “Yes, I did. Oh!” Pepper picked up styrofoam takeout container she’d brought back with her and held it out to him, plastic silverware taped to the top. “I got that ravioli you like. Guido’s.”

Tony beamed as he took the container and popped it open, inhaling deeply and moaning. “This is why you’re my favorite! And I’m starving, how did you know?”

Pepper snorted, which wasn’t exactly ladylike, but that was okay. “Because actual meals with a fork and plate and sitting are something you don’t do often enough. And it is, in fact, lunchtime.” 

He opened his mouth, clearly planning to argue, then seemed to reconsider. Practically cuddling the ravioli to his chest, he backed away from her desk. “Yeah, okay, fair point. I’m gonna go now, before you make any more fair points.”

Stifling a giggle, Pepper gave herself a shake as the door closed behind Tony, and forced herself to focus on work. There would be plenty of time to dwell on this… whatever it was, at length later.

However, it was only five minutes later that she was distracted again, by the arrival of the elevator. There were no meetings scheduled for another hour, and Pepper waited to see who would disembark with interest and confusion.

A black man wearing slacks and a dark red polo shirt under a brown leather jacket strode off the elevator, and Pepper instantly knew who he was despite never having seen him in person before.

“You must be Colonel Rhodes!” She said with a smile, which he returned easily.

“Have we met before? There’s no way Tony knew I was coming.”

“Oh, no, he’s not said anything, but I recognize you from the pictures Mr. Stark has. He’s spoken of you before.”

The man rolled his eyes a little, but didn’t stop smiling. “Don’t believe everything you hear.” He held out his hand for her to shake. “Colonel James Rhodes. Most people call me Jim, but Tony calls me Rhodey. You can take your pick.”

“Pepper Potts, and yes, that’s a nickname from Mr. Stark.”

“I’m not at all surprised. Welcome to the club.”

With a chuckle, Pepper pressed the intercom button. “Mr. Stark, you have a visitor.” She looked back at Colonel Rhodes as she waited for Tony to reply. “I’d like to say that I’ve only heard good things, but there are a few college stories that don’t portray the two of you in the best light.”

Colonel Rhodes laughed as he rested his arms on the tall reception desk. “Yeah, we were troublemakers.”

Pepper was about to press the intercom again, when her cell phone vibrated on the desk. She didn’t usually take personal calls at work, but then she realized it was Tony calling her. Utterly confused, she answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, who’s out there?”

“Um… Colonel Rhodes?”

Tony actually gasped. “Rhodey’s here?! Why didn’t you say so, send him in!”

“Of course. Um, Mr. Stark… why didn’t you just use the intercom?”

“In case I didn’t want to see whoever it was, duh. And because I’d have to go all the way over to my desk.”

Dropping her head into her hand, Pepper couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I’ll send him right in, Mr. Stark.”

“Thanks, Pep!”

Shaking her head and trying to wipe the smile off her face, Pepper ended the call and gestured to the closed double doors that led into Tony’s enormous office. “Go right ahead.”

With a smile and a friendly wink, Rhodey let himself in while Pepper answered an incoming call on the office line. 

Rhodey was barely inside the office when Tony greeted him enthusiastically from the couch to the left of the door.

“Rhododendron!” He managed around a mouthful of food. “You’re here!”

Rhodey rolled his eyes fondly at the ridiculous nickname. “Hey, Tony. Ooh, is that Guido’s?”

Tony picked the takeout container up off the glass coffee table and held it protectively to his chest, turning away from Rhodey as he continued chewing. “Back off. Pepper got it for me, it’s practically a present.”

“I’m really feeling the love right now, I just want you to know.”

“My love only extends so far, and Guido’s ravioli is outside that circle.”

Rhodey snorted as he settled into one of the chairs opposite the big leather couch Tony was perched on. “You’d think that helping you pull that prank our junior year at MIT would earn me more perks.”

Tony pointed his fork at Rhodey. “That was your idea and you know it. I just made it a reality.”

“Eh, apples and oranges.”

“I don’t have to listen to this, this is abuse. I’m calling security.”

“You have ‘em on speed dial? Otherwise you’ll have to go all the way over to your desk to reach the intercom.”

“OMG, honey bear, do you still eavesdrop on phone calls?”

Rhodey shrugged unashamedly. “If it’s loud enough for me to hear, is that really eavesdropping?”

Grinning, Tony moved the book he had sitting next to him and turned around to put his feet up on the couch, lounging along the length of it with the takeout container sitting on his lap as he forked another bite into his mouth. “So what brings you my way this fine May day?”

Rhodey quirked an eyebrow, then pulled an envelope out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket, sliding it across the table. “I wouldn’t forget, Tones.”

Tony’s smile got even brighter as he picked up the envelope and ripped it open. He pulled out a card, and laughed as he read the front. _We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember who the bad influence is._ On the inside, above the printed _Happy Birthday, Loser_ , Rhodey had written in, _Just kidding, it’s you._

“I look forward to your terrible cards every year.”

“I know you do. Happy birthday, Tony.”

After a moment of squinting speculatively, Tony finally rolled his eyes. “Oh, go on.” He held out the ravioli. “Just one though.”

Grinning, Rhodey fished one of the ravioli out with his fingers, and popped it into his mouth. “Mmm, I need to get out here more often.”

“Good thing I’m still holding my birthday card, or I’d think you liked the lure of good takeout more than you liked me.”

The intercom on Tony’s desk beeped quietly, and Pepper’s voice came through. “Mr. Stark, the Congressman is on the line insisting he needs to speak with you.”

Tony twirled the plastic fork through his fingers. "Which Congressman?"

"The annoying one with the hair and the gaudy ring."

"Oh, right." With a dramatic, put-upon sigh, Tony hauled himself off the couch and went to his desk, taking his food with him. “Sorry, Rhodey, gimme five or this guy’ll make my day miserable.” He sat in his opulent desk chair with a plop, then told Pepper to transfer the call back.


	3. Good or Bad Idea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey makes a suggestion and Pepper leaves a package.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues immediately where the previous one left off!

While Tony talked on the phone, Rhodey licked any remaining smudges of marinara sauce off his fingers and wandered around Tony’s office. It had been awhile since he’d seen it, and instead of mostly empty shelves over by the wet bar, there were now stacks of books, a couple awards, and a few pictures. The view behind Tony’s desk was as impressive as always, the floor-to-ceiling windows showing the rest of the SI compound, and the smoggy horizon fading into the distance.

Tony’s desk, however, looked like it had been a victim of extreme disorganization. Piles of papers, files, folders, drafting sketches, proposals, and other miscellaneous business and office paraphernalia covered nearly the entire surface. Rhodey glanced over it all, trying to find a pattern to it, while Tony wrapped up the phone call. He sighed heavily as the call ended, and leaned back in his chair with a huff. “Dealing with politicians is not my favorite thing.”

“Right there with you, man. What’s all this?” Rhodey was flipping through one of the messy stacks, still failing to find a method to the madness. “It’s like someone emptied a file cabinet on your desk.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a bit of a to-do list. Too much to manage and not enough time. I keep forgetting to have JARVIS set up my appointments for things to minimize the need for more paperwork, and I already have so much paperwork to dig through it’s not even funny.” 

“You need an assistant.” Rhodey said simply.

"I have an entire complex of assistants, boo bear." Tony waved his hand out the window to indicate the rest of the SI property.

"No, a personal assistant. Just for you, to help you with this mess." Rhodey let the papers fall back into their disorganized stack, trying to be all subtle about reaching for the takeout container that still held a few more ravioli. “More than JARVIS, someone that can actually help keep your life together, especially the paperwork on the business side.”

Tony squinted up at him as he slapped Rhodey’s hand away. “What makes you think my having a PA would go any way but terribly wrong?”

“You’ve got a point there, but come on, Tony. You’ve got stuff on here that dates back… this is from January. January, Tony. It's _May_. Do you even know what’s on here anymore?”

Tony scrubbed a hand through his hair, ruining the carefully arranged, artful mess it had been before. “Some. Every time I try to go through things, I find _pressing matters that need attending to_ ,” he wiggled his finger in an impression of air quotes, “or even actual important stuff, and I don’t get very far.”

“Assistant.” Rhodey said again, looking through another stack. “You can’t possibly keep up with all of this in addition to being CTO, CEO, and head of R&D. What about the secretary out there, Pepper?” Rhodey thumbed at the door. “You haven’t slept with her, have you?”

“Pepper?” Tony looked surprised. “No, absolutely not. She’s too smart for that, too good too. And she laughs at my jokes, Rhodey, you know how I like that. No way I’m giving her a reason to leave above and beyond just who I am as a person.”

Rhodey smirked at him, as if he heard more in Tony’s words than what he said. He made another attempt at the ravioli, sighing sadly when Tony moved the container to the other side of the desk.

Tony popped one of the ravioli in his mouth, smiling just a little evilly at Rhodey's scowl. “And besides, I never sleep with employees. You know that.”

Rhodey nodded and sighed. “You can’t blame me for asking, I was there while you were working on your PhD.”

Tony gasped and put on a face of mock offense, which was better than the tired stress from a minute before. “That was a completely different situation and you know it!”

“Your bot woke me up in the dead of night because he was worried you were dying. He literally dragged me out of bed and dumped me on the floor.”

“I had three co-eds in my bed, Rhodey, I nearly did die.” Something wistful and definitely naughty crossed Tony’s face as his eyes went hazy with memories. “But what a way to go…”

Rhodey balled up a piece of paper that he was fairly sure wasn’t important and threw it right at Tony’s head, pleased with the way it bounced off his forehead. “Whatever you’re thinking about, put it back.”

Tony just grinned and switched tracks. “I’ve probably only got about a half hour left until I’ve got some kind of horrible meeting to attend. But I can show you a few things I’ve got in the works.” His eyes lit up with that engineering light that Rhodey was so very familiar with. He'd spent his entire time at MIT both fearing and respecting that mad scientist glow.

“Military stuff?”

“Some. Also some hologram and repulsor tech that I think is gonna lead to some pretty rad changes.”

“Rad? 

“Oh, shut up, the 90’s made an impression on me.”

Rhodey eyed the wet bar, and the rather large selection of liquor it held. “It certainly did.”

“Come on, stop glaring at my decanters, this is a judgement free zone.” Tony was pulling out several sheets of drafting paper that had pencil and ink sketches on them. “Check this out, tell me if this isn’t too crazy...”

The time passed quickly in the flurry of tech and science, and all too soon Pepper was on the intercom again, giving Tony a five minute warning before his two o’clock meeting.

“That’s my cue,” Rhodey said, giving the drafts one more long look before straightening up. “And those look slick, Tony. How long until you think they’ll be in development?”

Tony drummed his fingers on a stack of papers as he considered it. “Maybe by next year. I’ll throw the first prototype together as soon as I get out from under this mess.” He gave the papers an extra tap.

“Seriously, Tony. Assistant.”

Tony nodded, his gaze going slightly unfocused for a moment. “I’ll think about it.”

“Think hard. It’s a good idea.”

With a slightly sardonic smile, Tony stood up and slung an arm around Rhodey’s shoulders, walking him to the door. “Thanks for stopping by, honey bear. It’s great to see you.”

“You too, Tones. Happy birthday. Although, I feel like I should start calling you trumpet flower or something.”

“What?”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow at him. “Rhododendron?”

“Did I say that?”

“You did.”

“Oh. Well, at least it’s better than Rhodey-o.”

“Ugh, please, no. I have never heard so many bad cowboy puns.”

Tony shoved at him in mock offense as he bumped the door open with his hip. “How dare you, my puns are never bad. Get out of my office, you’re banished.”

With a laugh, Rhodey pulled him into a quick hug, then smiled at the redheaded secretary at the desk and headed for the elevator.

“Alright, remind me what I’ve got on my docket, Miss Potts.” Tony leaned against the desk and smiled at her, glancing over his shoulder to give Rhodey a wave and a smile as the elevator doors closed.

* * *

Tony had only been gone for the day for five minutes when Pepper snuck into his office, package in hand. She’d had it hidden in her desk all day, excited until her rude awakening over lunch, and now she was fighting the urge to turn back and pretend she’d never done it.

But she couldn’t seem to do that, so she approached Tony’s desk and put the large, flat square package and second tiny package on top of it. They were tied together with red curling ribbon, Tony’s favorite color (add that to the list of things Pepper was slightly disturbed that she knew), and had a simple note card that said, _Happy birthday, from Pepper._

Before she panicked and snatched them back, she forced herself to leave the office, grabbing her purse off her desk and all but running for the elevator. It was done, no going back, she would just have to forget about it over the weekend and deal with any fallout on Monday.

If she could manage to put it out of her head at all, that was…


	4. How It Is, and How It Appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is touched that Pepper remembered, and cruel words have an effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where it gets a bit sad, peeps.

By the time Monday morning came around again, Pepper had oscillated between mild concern, utter calm, and out-of-control anxiety so many times, that she wasn’t even sure which one she was feeling anymore. It was on the tip of her tongue to say something about the two packages on his desk when Mr. Stark walked off the elevator at nine a.m., but before she could say a word, he thunked his elbows down on the edge of her desk and propped his chin in his hand.

“You maybe wanna triple your current salary?”

Her eyes about bugged out of her head, since she was making a very respectable amount of money as it was, and she couldn’t fathom what she might possibly do to validate that kind of a raise. “Um… how?”

“Be my PA? If you want it, of course. You want it, right?” His eyebrows waggled as he lowered his tone into something suggestive for that last part, grinning at her before he continued. “You’re practically filling that role anyway, but if we make it official you get all the perks.”

She blinked a few times, still sorting through it all. “You want me to be your personal assistant?”

“Yep. You know my routine, you know me, and that’s honestly the biggest deal-breaker right there, wouldn’t you say?”

She was trying to stammer her way through saying that getting to know him had probably been the best part of the past year, but she couldn’t get the words to come out how she wanted them, and Tony interpreted that as reluctance to take the job.

“Look, I get it, I’m a human disaster, but come on, Pep. You are the most capable person I’ve ever known, and you laugh at my jokes. You know how to saddle this bronco. Not that way, get your mind out of the gutter.” He grinned at her again and winked, sliding the innuendo into the sentence as easy as breathing.

And that, more than anything, made Pepper relax. It was familiar, his humor and banter, something she actually looked forward to and appreciated every day. “A pay raise sounds nice.”

His smile could have lit up the skies, and he bounced his fist on the desk once. “Done! Figure it’ll take a week to train someone to take over the desk? Or you need longer?”

“Uh, two would be better, but I can be flexible.”

“I’ll give you ten days, and not an hour more.”

Pepper grinned, something sly in the tilt of her lips. “What if I promise to put off your meeting with the budgeting department until next week?”

“Then you can have as many days as you want.”

She laughed as he went into his office, wiggling his fingers at her over the top of his head, and answered an incoming call with a smile on her face.

* * *

Tony sat at his desk, rubbing at his goatee contemplatively, staring at the simply wrapped packages. Plain brown paper with shiny red curling ribbon, and a notecard from Pepper.

Of course she knew his birthdate, she had his driver’s license and birth certificate on file for ID purposes. It hadn’t occurred to him, however, that she might remember it. Much less give him a present. Or two presents, as the case may be.

And she hadn’t even known about the whole PA thing until a few minutes ago, so there was no way this had anything to do with that.

She had just… remembered.

Clearing his throat and shuffling away something that felt suspiciously like emotions, Tony pulled a multi-tool out of his pocket and sliced through the ribbons with the pocketknife. He started with the little one first, the size confusing him since it was the size of a jewelry box that men proposed with. There was indeed a black velvet box under the wrapping paper, but it wasn’t a ring inside.

It was the pair of diamond cufflinks his mother had given him for his twenty-first birthday. He vaguely remembered saying something about them to Pepper, ages ago when she’d been at the house with him going over some papers to sign while he got ready for a charity benefit. He’d said something about how they’d broken and he didn’t have the right tools to fix them himself.

And she had remembered.

Fingering the repaired cufflinks, a smile broke on Tony’s face. Closing the box carefully, he set it aside and reached eagerly for the other package. It was the size and shape of a wall calendar, and he half expected it to be a calendar of hot rods or something like that.

Instead, he found a vinyl record, an early AC/DC pressing that was just hard enough to find that he hadn’t bothered to yet.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he pushed the button for his AI. “JARVIS?”

“At your service, sir.”

“Did you perhaps conspire with Miss Potts to get me a birthday present?”

“Would I do such a thing, sir?”

“Yes, you would. You like her.”

JARVIS' voice actually seemed to warm. “I am as fond of her as an artificial intelligence can be. And I might have nudged her in the direction of the missing records in your collection.”

“You’re more sneaky than I give you credit for, J.”

“What a compliment.”

Grinning, Tony hit the intercom button.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?”

“Thanks for gifts, Miss Potts. I love them. I’m flattered you remembered.”

“Oh! Um… you’re welcome.”

He could practically hear her blushing, and it made him smile wider. “Does this mean you have a crush on me?”

“I’m going to throw my shoe at you next time you come out here.”

Laughing, Tony sat back in his chair and gave it a little spin. He was absolutely confident about his choice for a PA now. Pepper was going to be perfect.

Out in the lobby, Pepper was shaking her head and trying to suppress a smile as she continued answering emails and finalizing Tony’s schedule for the following day. Being the personal assistant to the genius billionaire of the biggest tech conglomerate in the world hadn’t been the job she had been aiming for back when she’d first started in the mail room. But she was certainly happy with where she had come thus far.

* * *

At least… she was. Until the rumors started.

But these weren’t Stark Industries rumors that were traded over mail carts in the halls and microwave lunches in the break rooms. These were biting, scathing rumors splashed on magazine covers and online articles, photos of billionaire CEO Tony Stark gadding about at vacation resorts all over the world with his new PA. Clearly more than a working relationship between those two, and who was coming out on the better end of the deal there? The CEO making time between the sheets with his secretary, or the secretary sleeping her way up the corporate ladder?

When Pepper had first seen the headlines and the photos, she had been picking up the breakfast orders from a local diner for herself, Tony, and his often-present bodyguard, Happy Hogan. Her eyes had been idly tracing over the assorted magazines for sale next to the cash register, until Tony’s name caught her eye. And the rest of the headline hit her like a slap in the face.

_Billionaire Tony Stark Making Time With Ex-Model PA_

She had left the diner, hands shaking to the point that she nearly dropped the paper bag full of food, and she had to stop around the corner and sit down on bench, taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

Of course she had a… a crush on Tony. She had since that first week. But she had never, _ever_ done anything about it. Tony, he was practically sex on legs, and every other word was usually suggestive and hinted at innuendo, but he had _never_ crossed the line, never even come close. Lord knew he’d had plenty of opportunity, but not once had he ever made a serious pass at her. It was like he knew what kind of boundaries Pepper needed to maintain, without even having to ask, and he always followed those unspoken rules to the letter.

They were… very familiar, probably even friends, but not what that magazine was suggesting. Never that. Just coworkers that happened to like each other rather a lot, but there was nothing in their relationship that could possibly be misconstrued as truly inappropriate. There never had been.

At least… that was what Pepper had always thought.

* * *

She waited until the end of the day to bring it up, approaching Tony’s office as the last receptionist left, the magazine from earlier in her hand. 

She tapped on the door and poked her head in. He was sitting at his desk, a mess of files and blueprints strewn across the surface alongside cost analyses and reports. He’d taken his jacket off and rolled up his shirt sleeves, his hair was a soft, rumpled mess, and Pepper wanted more than anything to put off this conversation. Maybe forever. 

“Mr. Stark? Can I talk to you?”

He looked up and smiled at her, though his eyes were tired and he’d been rubbing at the back of his head like had a headache. “Mr. Stark? Uh oh, am I in trouble? What did I do this time?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s…” Pepper couldn’t even bring herself to say it. So she just put the magazine on the desk (he didn’t like being handed things), and stood there silently while he picked it up.

His face tightened as he read the headline, and there was anger in his eyes when he glanced at her. He thumbed through the pages quickly, finding the article in question, and his expression darkened further as he read the mean-spirited, taunting implications written there.

“Pepper… I’m sorry.”

Her head came up quickly, surprised. “What?”

“This is… you don’t deserve this. You know this is complete garbage, right? This is…" He gave the magazine a disgusted look. "A gossip rag, trash, and there’s nothing truthful to it.”

Pepper nodded, swallowing hard, trying to maintain her composure. “Yes, I do know that. You have always been extremely respectful of our work relationship, and I'm grateful for that. But… I’m concerned that they… have a point.”

He didn’t even bother to hide his shock at that statement, and she sighed, hanging her head.

“It doesn’t matter what I do for you, or your company, that has to do with business. All they see are the times that _look_ like something else.” She gestured to the photo, a picture that had been snapped of her and Tony, laughing, her head tipped towards him, his hand at the small of her back. 

Tony looked about as upset as she’d ever seen him. “You have done _wonders_ for both me _and_ the company, Pep.”

She nodded quickly, and felt the prick of tears behind her eyes. “I know that. I do. And you know that, which is… You don’t notice everything, but you notice a lot of the important things.”

There was something in his whiskey-brown eyes that made her chest ache. “You _are_ an important thing, Pepper. Not even counting the stuff you do for me every single day, you caught that error in the paperwork that would have cost us millions last month on that deal. And last week, you coaxed that annoying CEO I hate back to the negotiating table, smoothing whatever feathers I ruffled. And that's just off the top of my head.”

Pepper smiled at him, just a little bit, and swallowed hard. “That’s not what the world sees, though. And until… at least until this dies down, I think—” She suppressed a sad sigh. “We should change things. A little.”

It was obvious that Tony… _Mr. Stark_ , was no fan of the plan, once she had explained it. She could literally see the wheels in his head turning as that genius brain of his tried to come up with a different solution, one that didn’t affect their comfortable camaraderie so much. Sadly, this was the kind of situation that didn’t come with a workaround.

As for Tony, he knew that it was important to Pepper, even as he felt his face get a little tight and pinched when she started listing some of the changes they would have to make. But he let her dictate the new boundaries of their relationship as they went forward, and overnight, Tony Stark felt like he had lost a friend.


	5. Half A World Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendship dissolves, a demonstration goes terribly wrong, and lives are changed forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll be familiar with where we go from here, darlings.

Abruptly, Pepper Potts laughed a lot less. Smiled a lot less. Not because something tragic had happened, just that she’d had to take a step back, away from _Tony_ , the man she had been considering a friend (and feeling more), and back to _Mr. Stark_ , her boss, someone that it would be inappropriate to be close too. 

But then, that _was_ a little tragic, in a lot of ways.

They couldn't even preserve their friendship in private, when there was no one around to see. Because it would be too easy to slip, too easy to forget, and Pepper didn't think she would be able to remind herself not to smile at Mr. Stark when she was allowed to smile at Tony. It all had to change.

The next year was noticeably more difficult to get through than the past couple had been. Seeing what the world had thought of Virginia "Pepper" Potts had changed her, and it was a change that she honestly could have done without.

Now, instead of laughing at Tony’s antics when he was bored out of his mind in meetings, she had to press her lips together with disapproval, not to stifle a giggle.

Now, instead of grinning at his jokes and bantering over coffee while she slid him papers to sign, she prepared folders to leave on his desk, marking the areas to initial and sign with little sticky tabs and jotted down notes.

Now, instead of finding humor in the way he told off reporters and paparazzi, always giving them something new and scandalous to print, she had to bite back frustration because not only could she no longer laugh at his jokes, now she was too afraid to even smile.

He wasn't even allowed to touch her anymore. And Pepper had not realized how many casual, friendly touches the two had exchanged until she wasn't allowed to have them anymore. Some days, she ached to be able to reach over and squeeze Tony's hand when he was exhausted from work and looked in desperate need of a friend. Other days, she would have given anything for him to put his hand on her shoulder and tell her she was doing great. 

It was remarkable, the way little things annoyed her so much more, little personality quirks that were no longer allowed to be endearing, because she couldn’t smile at them anymore. Over time, the frustrations she dealt with in dealing with being Tony Stark’s PA grew, mostly because she couldn’t laugh at them anymore. It wasn’t allowed.

She couldn’t call him Tony anymore. That had been the first thing to go. And with something sad and bitter in his eyes, Mr. Stark had followed her lead, and instead of calling her Pep, Pepper, or even the occasional “light of my life,” she was always Miss Potts.

It was three long years before their relationship had recovered from that forced distance, and back to the point that he could call her Pepper again. Years of their professional relationship being stellar and spotless before that kind of thing was allowed again. But it had damaged something, that separation, and the easy smiles and laughter weren’t something they could just get back.

It was early in 2009 and Pepper had just had, well, one might call it a _scuffle_ , with a blonde something-or-other as Pepper tried to get her out the door. The woman who had come home with Tony from Vegas the night before, and then wandered around the house wearing nothing but his shirt had not taken well to being called trash… Not that Pepper regretted that comment for an instant, the look on the woman’s face had been _priceless_ , and come on… if you’re gonna insult Pepper Potts, you better be prepared to be politely eviscerated.

Rhodey had called her from the plane five times in the last three minutes, and as she put in the keycode for the workshop and hung up with him, she struggled to bite back her frustration when she saw Tony tinkering with his hot rod, his music up loud.

“You are supposed to be halfway around the world right now.”

* * *

Pain.

Shock.

Breath knocked out of him.

Ears ringing.

Dust in his eyes, his nose.

Rhodey.

Rhodey?

_Pepper…_

* * *

Ho Yinsen stared down at the man that the terrorists had brought into the cave, and hid his shock when he recognized him. It was Tony Stark. The talk he’d overheard for weeks, the plans that he’d heard bits and pieces of, all made sense now.

“Will he live?” Abu Bakaar demanded in a dialect of Arabic that Yinsen had come to learn.

Yinsen stepped forward and looked Stark over, taking note of the bleeding lump on his forehead, and the blood that had dried on the bulletproof vest he wore under the ripped and stained shirt. He had a suspicion about what had caused both.

“I need to get his vest off.”

“Do it. Quickly.”

Yinsen had been correct in his assumption, recognizing the many small wounds in the center of the billionaire’s chest that had begun bleeding again once the bulletproof vest had been removed. “He needs surgery, immediately.”

“We need him now. Bandage him.”

“He will die in days if he does not receive surgery. There is shrapnel in his chest.”

“And if he dies after you cut him open, what use will either of you be?”

Fighting against a familiar surge of fear, Yinsen withheld a sigh and nodded. “I will bandage him to stop the bleeding. But then I _must_ perform surgery.”

Abu nodded sharply, watching Yinsen like a hawk as he bandaged Stark’s chest. When two of the terrorists hauled the unconscious man upright for Yinsen to wrap gauze around his torso, he moaned faintly.

That was unfortunate. If he were to wake, the surgery would be more difficult. Yinsen only had ether in his field surgery supplies, and very little in the way of medication to help with pain.

“Are you finished?”

Yinsen nodded, unsure if he should hope Stark survived or not. Both outcomes seemed cruel. “He needs surgery as soon as possible.”

Abu and the other terrorists disappeared without another word to him, the bolt on the outside of the door thudding into place.

Rubbing a hand down his face, Yinsen looked around at the room in the cave that he had been in for… many, many days now. Months.

He needed to prepare for surgery. He had a life to try to preserve.

God help them both.

* * *

“Pepper… something happened.”

“Rhodey, what’s going on? I haven’t heard from Tony, he usually lets me know when he gets back to base. Is something wrong?”

“Pepper—”

“What’s wrong. Rhodey, what’s wrong?”

“He’s… Pepper, he’s missing. We were attacked, and… he’s missing.”

* * *

Tony only had the barest sense of awareness as he started to come to, flirting with the edge of unconsciousness.

Noise and pain were what pulled him into awareness, and he didn’t want anything to do with that. Falling back into the black was so tempting. But then his brain caught up with him, processed the noises as a voice, speaking in a language he recognized but didn’t know.

Without warning, something was yanked off his head, something scratchy and musty-smelling, and Tony blinked into bright lights, disoriented and confused. He… he couldn’t seem to move, and his chest _hurt_ , and standing in front of him… was an Afghan man running a video camera.

The knowledge was immediate and devastating, everything from his situation to the pain in his chest slotting into place in the most horrifying way. He’d been taken hostage.

He hadn’t felt anything when the shrapnel hit him, shock and the force of the explosion knocking him literally senseless before he passed out, only the blood seeping through his tac vest giving him any hint of the injuries he’d known he would have. 

He sure felt it now.

Once the video was over, a rough burlap sack was shoved back over his head, and his knees nearly went out from under him from the pain when he was hauled to his feet. Every panicked heartbeat hurt like a stab wound, and Tony truly wished he could say he had no idea why. But he did. He knew his tech, his weapons, inside and out. He knew what they looked like, what they sounded like, what they felt like under his hands. He knew exactly how many seconds to wait, his back to the action, slowly spreading his arms, waiting for the explosions and the shock wave to finish off a hell of a presentation.

He had known the moment he'd seen the missile in the ground beside him that he was staring right in the face of death.

He was half led, half dragged through what had to be some kind of maze, his mind unable to hold onto the different directions and number of steps with panic and pain creating such a buzz in his mind. The sounds didn’t help either, voices speaking in different languages, none of which he knew except for Dari, which he’d been learning in the days leading up to the weapons demonstration.

Oh… oh no, _Rhodey_. All those soldiers. Were any of them even alive?

_Please, not Rhodey._

There was a pause in movement, yelling in what Tony suspected was Arabic, the sound of a metal door being unlatched and opened. When he was shoved through it, everything went fuzzy again, the pain swamping his senses as he fell to the ground, jarring his injured chest. 

The next time he came to, he was flat on his back, and his chest seared in pain, different and so much worse than before.

The hazy, unfocused images of a man standing over him barely filtered into his consciousness through the agony, and Tony tried to move, tried to scream. A cloth was pressed over his face, a sickly sweet smell filling his nose, and blackness took him again.

* * *

“We need to consider the future of this company. What could happen if it’s left leaderless, especially at this crucial time.”

While Obadiah talked, something of what he was saying filtered into Pepper’s brain, seeping through the fog of numbness and total emotional upheaval that she had found herself in ever since she’d gotten the call from Rhodey yesterday. Phone calls from Rhodey often meant some kind of problem, but Pepper had known the moment she first heard his voice, tight with worry and forced calm, that something really bad had happened this time.

She couldn't have anticipated something this bad.

Her heart _hurt_.

“With that in mind, I want to put a motion before the board to transfer the duties and powers of CEO to myself, in order to keep this company functioning until we find out what happened to Tony, no matter the outcome.”

Pepper was sitting up straighter now, her eyes narrowed as murmurs broke out around the table, the board members reacting to Obadiah’s motion. 

“I’d like to call for a vote,” Obadiah continued, and he opened his mouth, likely to ask who would second the motion, when Pepper shot to her feet.

“No.”

Obadiah’s head turned so sharply he might have pulled something. “What?”

A thread of apprehension ran through her, but Pepper was too upset to pay much attention to it. “Tony hasn’t even been missing for 24 hours. A change in leadership like this is an inappropriate action.”

Obadiah smiled, but there was absolutely no warmth or sincerity in it. “My only concern is for this company. Tony would understand that.”

“Tony might,” Pepper conceded, “But I don’t. And as executor of Mr. Stark’s will, I can’t allow that. Not unless we have proof of—” her throat closed briefly, “proof of death.”

The smile was gone from Obadiah’s face now. “He was attacked by terrorists in an active war zone. What other proof do you need?”

“More." She bit off. "Something incontrovertible.”

“That’s something we might never have.”

Pepper was doing her best, damn it, she was trying so hard to be strong, but her voice wavered the slightest bit when she said, “I’m willing to wait.”

Something calculating slipped onto Obadiah’s face, but was swiftly covered up with another smile that felt false. A wool coat on a sharp-toothed wolf.

“Perhaps you’re too emotional right now to be making these decisions,” He began again, and Pepper cut him off sharply, her voice now hard.

“My emotions have nothing to do with the instructions Mr. Stark left in the event that he was ever compromised. He was very clear, the documents were witnessed, and I will follow them to the letter. Unless you can provide a body, there will be no leadership changes, or other changes, made to this company. You are interim CEO, as you have always been. And that’s it. I will not negotiate on this point.”

Obadiah looked as if the smile he conjured up tasted bitter. “Well, Miss Potts has spoken.” His tone, that lilt of sarcasm, certainly made it clear what he thought about a mere secretary daring to take control of his show.

The meeting ended quickly after that, the tension in the room palpable as people filed out. Pepper didn’t give Obadiah a chance to corner her and question her, she hated it when he did that. She hated the way he loomed, how he used his height to make other people feel small. And she’d never liked the way he treated Tony (Tony had always seemed concerned that Pepper had never warmed to his mentor), but this was the most unfriendly she’d ever felt towards the man.

Anyone who wanted to move forward so quickly without Tony? That wasn’t someone she needed to ally herself with.

He wasn’t gone. He wasn’t. He couldn’t really be gone.

Because Pepper had no idea what to do if he was.

* * *

Obadiah swirled expensive bourbon around in a cut crystal glass as he stared out the huge windows in the CEO’s office.

An office that should be his. 

An office that would have been his if a jumped-up bitch of a redhead hadn’t stood in his way. He hadn’t been prepared for that.

He would be next time.

And in the meantime… he’d just have to be a little bit more delicate about it. He was more than capable of such, he just preferred the bigger way. Bigger was always better.

So he’d lurk behind the scenes. Plant seeds of doubt. Work on destabilizing the foundation in all the right places so that when it all toppled, it landed just right for him to step in and take over, no questions asked.

He was owed this, and he didn’t care what he had to do to get it.


	6. Days and Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days turn into weeks and there's still no sign of Tony. And for Tony, there's no signs of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We go into the torture part of things in this chapter, proceed with caution.

Pepper hadn’t been able to take a full breath in days. Or… it was probably a week, now. The longest week she had ever endured. Every day was both longer and shorter than the one before, the fear and hope and anxiety shifting into something that burned and ached and felt like impotent despair. Every time Pepper fell asleep, she was tortured and comforted in equal measures as she hoped and wondered and even prayed that Tony would be alright. That they could have just one miracle, that Rhodey would finally be able to call her with good news.

She had spent as many nights at Tony’s mansion as she did at home. She slept better at home, but then she’d wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares, and be frantically checking her phone, seeing if Rhodey had called, if JARVIS had pinged her, and her heart rate wouldn’t settle until she drove out to the mansion anyway… just in case.

Then she finally heard from Rhodey. He had just landed at the base in California, and he was coming over. Pepper was shaking as she paced in Tony’s ridiculously lavish living room, the noise from the water feature not even touching the chaos of thoughts and theories running through her head.

JARVIS announced Rhodey when he arrived, and Pepper’s breathing was so shallow she felt herself getting a little lightheaded as she waited for him to come inside.

When he did… he didn’t even have to speak. She saw the defeat on his dark face, heard it in his voice when he softly said, “Pepper…”

“No, Rhodey.” Pepper’s composure, the faint glimmer of hope she’d been clinging to, it all just collapsed. “He’s gone, isn’t he?”

She stumbled a step back, then fell to her knees, and Rhodey went after her, pulling her into his arms as the tears started falling. His voice was shaking when he spoke too, tears glittering in his eyes.

“I’m not gonna give up, Pepper. I promise. I’m not gonna give up and I’m not gonna stop until we find him. No matter what.”

“What if we never do?” Pepper’s throat ached, and tears continued to course down her cheeks, dropping one by one onto Rhodey’s uniform. She didn’t know it, but she sounded just like she had a week ago, when Rhodey had made the call from the base in Afghanistan to tell her about what had happened, and he’d been haunted by the sound of tears in her voice ever since.

He put both hands on the sides of her face and tipped her head up until she was looking at him. There was so much pain in his eyes, the same that echoed in her own chest with every beat of her heart, just of a different flavor. Rhodey was mourning the loss of his best friend, his brother. Pepper was mourning the loss of the man she loved, even if she’d never said it out loud. 

“Pepper. I _will not give up_ until we find him.”

She crumpled again, falling against Rhodey’s chest. “Just promise me something, Rhodey. Promise me that you’ll bring him back alive.”

They both knew it was impossible. They both knew that the only way Rhodey would be bringing Tony back from the desert would be in a box, if he ever came back at all. But sometimes false hope was the only thing you had to hold on to, and they were both holding on hard. It was that or sink into the kind of anguish you didn't come back from.

“I promise.” Rhodey’s voice broke. “I promise. You know Tony. He won’t give up anything without a fight, you think he’d give up his life without raising literal hell first? No way, and we’d see that hell coming from miles away.”

A small, shivery laugh made Pepper’s shoulders shake. “You’re right. He’s probably drinking a martini in a bar somewhere, just waiting for you to pick him up.”

“And I’m gonna beat his ass when I do it.”

Both of them were just a little too old to be kneeling on a hard stone floor, but they stayed where they were for a long time, just holding on to each other, lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

Though Tony had stripped out of his wet clothes and wrapped himself in blankets, he was still shivering, and he scrubbed a hand through his hair and across his face, trying to generate some heat. The texture of his goatee made him pause, and he remembered to ask a question that he hadn’t had a chance to ask before being dragged off to be tortured (terrorists didn’t like being told no).

“How long was I out?” The facial hair around his goatee had moved past stubble and into beard growth, it had to have been at least…

“Almost four days.” The doctor answered promptly, not looking over as he draped Tony’s wet, ripped, and filthy suit pants across a string he obviously used as a clothesline.   
“That’s why you had the nasogastric tube. I told them you would die unless we kept giving you food and fluids.”

Tony shuddered at the mention of the tube he'd had up his nose. “You’ve been putting a lot of effort into keeping me alive. Why?”

The doctor’s eyes flickered to Tony’s briefly. “I took an oath.”

“Not because they threatened to kill you if you didn’t?”

He shook out the jacket Tony had been wearing and added it to the line. “Oh, they did that too. But I’m quite valuable to them, or my skills are. I have saved several of their lives.”

Tony shook his head and rubbed his hand over his goatee again. “That oath of yours must be something you take pretty seriously.”

“It is, yes. In my current position, it is sometimes all I have.”

That made Tony think, a bit. What exactly did he have?

* * *

Pepper hovered in the door of Tony's bedroom at the Malibu mansion. She'd been in the room before, many times, in fact. Tony was as open with his home as he was with everything else with her. She knew where to find his favorite clothes, which shoes he liked with which suits, what kind of mood he was trying to communicate with his ties. She had been the one to sort out his collection of watches according to color and personal preference, and over in the walk-in closet she could just see the black velvet box that contained the diamond cufflinks from his mother that she'd had repaired for his birthday, years ago. Tony wore them on special occasions, said they were classic and went with everything, and Pepper never called him out on the emotional reasons he never mentioned.

Tony was embedded in every single inch of this house. Which made sense, he had designed the entire thing, from the structuring that kept the house in place on the so-called impossible cliff that no one could build on, to the flowing lines and sharp corners of the architecture, to the painstakingly selected decor and furnishings. Pepper had made suggestions, but Tony had made the final decisions on everything. And while his workshop was his domain, the whole mansion was part of who he was. Impossible and beautiful, cutting edge and lavish. 

Being there hurt just as much as it soothed. The scent of Tony's cologne seemed to linger everywhere, as well as the scent of coffee and engine oil. A calling card that you couldn't see but immediately recognized.

Sighing and brushing the tears off her cheeks, Pepper turned around to head for the guest room. She probably wouldn't sleep, but she might as well try. 

She was halfway down the hall when she paused, then retraced her steps, going into Tony's room this time. Going over to the bed, she picked one of the pillows from the side he normally slept on, and hugged it to her chest as she left, burying her nose in the plush softness and inhaling the calming scent that still clung to the fibers.

She missed him so much.

* * *

It was cold. It was always so cold now. Over the past few weeks it had seeped into Tony’s bones, and it would have made his chest ache even if he hadn’t had it cut open to make way for a mechanical monstrosity. Now, a pain unlike anything he'd ever felt was his constant companion, and he wasn’t sure which part was worse, that or the fear.

It was always cold, and it always hurt, and he was always afraid.

They’d taken him to what he was mentally labeling as “the torture chamber” many times now. Each time they dunked him in icy water, over and over until he was on the brink of not breathing anymore, the effort of struggling and fighting against their hold ripping excruciating pain through his chest, their screams of “Jericho!” echoing in his water-logged ears.

He had no idea how many days had passed. He spent most of the first few unconscious, only surfacing long enough at a stretch to feel the haze of horrific pain before passing out again, and even the guy he was being held prisoner with wasn’t sure how long it had been. He guessed about three weeks, given the progress of Tony’s healing. (Tony didn’t know what healing the guy was talking about. Every breath burned, he couldn’t move his arms without the gaping wound in his chest pulling and searing with pain, he didn’t even remember anymore what it felt like not to hurt. He wasn’t healing. He was just bleeding less on the outside.)

He didn’t know why he hadn’t cracked up yet. Had no idea what was keeping him going. He slept, if you could call it that, fitfully, and woke up often. He was pretty sure he was battling a chest infection from the atrocity that had been jammed in there. Along with all that, his body had realized it hadn't had any alcohol for far too long, and he’d gone through the DT’s. That had been something worse than hell, and he’d hallucinated wildly during that time. Opening his eyes and seeing the walls of the cave again every time he was lucid did nothing to help.

One thing did, though. One thing that stood apart from everything else, every single shitty thing that made Tony wish something would finally just kill him.

Pepper.

He dreamed about her. A lot, it seemed. Flashes of her face behind his eyes, the sound of her voice in his ear. Sometimes he would wake up in the cold and the dark, and swear he’d just felt her warm, soft touch on his face. Some days, it was the only thing that kept him going, even when he all but prayed for death.

He couldn’t think about Rhodey. He didn’t have the strength for it. He had no idea if his best friend had even survived the attack, and he didn’t have it in him to imagine a world that didn’t have Rhodey in it.

But Pepper… Pepper was safe. Pepper was home. And every time her face came to his mind, Tony breathed just a little bit easier. He didn’t let himself think about what that meant.

And then, finally… Tony broke. They came for him again, dragged him from the closest thing he ever got to sleep, and within minutes had him plunged back into that hellscape of stale, frigid water. Over and over and over again.

Somewhere between a desperate gasp for air that burned in his lungs, the near-constant sound of screaming in languages he didn’t understand except for the word “Jericho”, and the freezing flush of water closing over his head again…

Tony gave up.

He had hit the end of his rope. His chest was on fire, his throat and sinuses were burning and stinging from choking on and inhaling water, he didn’t even remember anymore what anything other than terror and cold felt like. And he just couldn’t see an end to it.

So he opened his mouth and just… sucked in a lungful of the icy, dirty water.

More of the burning, the aching, the stinging, but then a blackness crept in around the edges of his vision, and a numbness started to steal over him.

Tony fell into that black with a watery gasp of surrender and relief…


	7. Water and Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper faces off against Obadiah again, and Tony faces harsh realities.

Pepper’s thumb was tracing circles on the screen of her phone, round and round, echoing the way her thoughts couldn’t seem to get off the merry-go-round they were on.

There were… hundreds of things she needed to do. All of them pressing, most of them time-sensitive, but all she could think about was… Tony.

She missed him. She missed him like he was sunlight, and all she was doing now was wandering in the dark, trying to find some source of light and warmth, anywhere. But there was nothing to follow.

She had known, in an abstract sort of way, that her life had become completely entwined with Tony’s. Everything she was, everything she did, it tied to him. Having him gone was like having part of herself gone, a very large and crucial part. She didn’t know what to do without it.

Somehow, in the years they had spent deliberately maintaining a professional distance, Pepper had still ended up closer to Tony than she had ever been to anyone. And she couldn’t bear to consider the thought that he might never come back.

Her thumb kept circling.

Rhodey had called last night, said that he was going out again to look for Tony. He hadn’t outright said it, but Pepper had heard the strain in his voice, and knew from reading between the lines that Rhodey’s superiors weren’t going to let him keep this up for long. It had been three weeks now, and everyone was saying it was a lost cause.

A sudden flare of anger went through her, a rare shot of emotion in the numb fog she’d been in for days now, and her hand clenched.

She was _never_ going to give up. Never. And neither was Rhodey. They would find him, even if all they ever found was confirmation of their worst fears. 

The phone, as if it were protesting her grip, suddenly vibrated in her hand. Obadiah’s face popped up on the screen, and Pepper couldn’t help a grimace. She knew what this was about, and answered reluctantly.

She credited the swooping sense of dread in her chest to what Obadiah was surely going to say. It couldn’t have been anything else.

* * *

Tony came back into consciousness on a wave of pain. This was almost as bad as the nightmarish fragments of memory he had of waking up while he’d been getting that godforsaken magnet put in his chest.

For a second, all he knew, everything on his mental screen was pain, the way his chest heaved and it _hurt_. His lungs were burning, he was flat on the floor and soaking wet with cold water.

And the voices started screaming at him again, rough hands starting to yank him to his feet before he was dropped back down again, and Tony just let an aching breath shudder out of him as he closed his eyes.

Why couldn’t they have just let him die?

* * *

Yinsen knew something was wrong when they brought Stark back, still dripping from being waterboarded. They were handling him differently, watching him more closely, and when they dropped him on the floor inside the door, they shouted at Yinsen to watch him.

Stark didn’t move from where he’d been left, and though his eyes were open, there was an emptiness on his face that was disturbing.

What had they done to him?

Yinsen went over to the man and hauled him to his feet despite the soaking wet clothes, bracing up against his side and walking them both over to the cot Stark slept on. He could feel the man beginning to shiver in the pervasive cold.

“Get the clothes off, quickly.” Yinsen ordered, grabbing one of the rough blankets and setting it next to Stark. “Come on, Stark.”

He didn’t move for several seconds, and Yinsen was about to give him a shake, when Stark finally blinked and seemed to come back to himself.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

* * *

The dread Pepper had felt when Obadiah called and asked for a meeting had finally faded back into nothingness, and she was glad for it. She needed to think clearly and focus, especially given the way their conversation in Tony’s office at SI was going. The numb, emotionless fog helped. Staring at Tony’s empty chair behind his desk didn’t.

Obadiah was talking as he paced around the room, his voice at once authoritarian and kind of condescending, which automatically had her hackles up.

“This company needs structure and stability to survive this, Pepper. If we don’t give it that, it’s not going to survive.”

Pepper felt a sense of indignation rise up through the numbness. She couldn’t let Obadiah do what he was trying to do. Even if Tony was… dead ( _no_ , please, please, no), all Stane could think about was trying to take control of the company. He was worried about the survival of the company, his own gains, he didn’t seem to care at all about what might have happened to Tony. Tony talked about it all the time, how Obadiah was like a father to him.

These weren't the actions of a father, or a friend.

She couldn’t really feel her lips moving as the words came out of her mouth on their own, her eyes still pinned on Tony’s empty chair. “It is the same as it was before. As per the procedures that Mr. Stark approved when he became CEO, you will remain interim-CEO until he comes back.”

Obadiah stopped in front of her chair she was sitting in and looked down at her like she was stupid. “Comes back? Pepper… he’s not coming back. He’s gone.”

She gritted her teeth and forced herself to look up at the man, hating the way he always used his height and breadth to loom over her. She had always hated that. “We don’t know that, Obadiah. There is no body. And until I see a body, with my own eyes, I will not allow any changes to be made to Tony’s company that he has not explicitly stated in his approved procedures set forth in his will.”

Obadiah’s eyes narrowed slightly, and his voice had the thread of a taunt in it now. “I can tell you’re still very emotional about this, Pepper. Are you sure you’re capable of making these kinds of decisions right now? Maybe you should step down for a little while, take a break. This is a trying time. I know you and Tony had a… _close_ relationship.”

Something that burned like acid and tasted like bile roared through Pepper, burned through the fog, an anger that had become as familiar as it was justified. She rose to her feet, glad for the extra inches her heels gave her, and vitriol spewed out of her before she could even consider controlling it.

“If I seem _emotional_ , Obadiah, it is because there are a thousand things I need to be doing right now to help run this company, and to find Tony. And listening to you make snide, inappropriate comments about my professional relationship with Mr. Stark is not one of them. This company will undergo no changes in leadership until he is found. As I have already said, that is my final word. Surely you have something better to do with your time than to continue badgering me about an issue that is not going to change.”

Turning on her heel, she stalked out of the office, her heels snapping hard against the floor as she held her spine rigidly straight. She might regret that, later, but right now she was riding that wave of utter fury, and she was going to do so until it ebbed and left her feeling numb and empty again.

* * *

“He will die if you continue to torture him in that way.” Yinsen said flatly in Arabic, watching Abu Bakaar’s face. “His lungs are not strong after the surgery, and if he keeps getting water in them, he will get pneumonia and die. It is a miracle he hasn't done so alredy.”

“We will do what it takes to make him build our missile.” The terrorist snapped back. “And you would be wise not to interfere.”

“It is not an interference. It is a fact. You will kill him if you continue as you have been. He has already battled a chest infection. Do not make the mistake of thinking he is immortal just because he still lives.”

“Then what do you suggest?” This voice was different, quiet and dangerous in a way that made Yinsen’s skin crawl. This man spoke from the shadows, and though Yinsen did not know his name, he easily recognized the shaved head and the large ring on his hand that he always seemed to be touching.

“That is not for me to say. You told me to keep him alive. I am simply telling you that there is nothing I can do if you insist on torturing him like this. His lungs are simply too weak.”

Yinsen was escorted back to the room with Stark minutes later, but he could feel the eyes of the other terrorist on him, and he imagined that must be what it felt like to have the crosshairs of a rifle on the back of your head.

He wasn’t sure the next day, when he and Stark were dragged out into the harsh sunlight outside the cave, if this was better or worse than what they had been doing to the man before.

* * *

“Something has changed in you, Stark.”

The doctor’s voice from across the cave was quiet, as it was most of the time. It was a sharp contrast to everyone else in the godforsaken network of caves, who always seemed to be yelling.

Tony didn’t take his eyes off the open flames in the metal contraption that served as their only source of heat to look behind him. “Has it?”

“Yes. You seem empty.”

Given that he was missing half his chest and probably half his sanity, that was almost funny. 

“Have you given up?”

Tony sighed, shaking his head minutely as images of those stockpiles of his weapons danced behind his eyes. “I don’t know.” 

He wasn’t sure he had anything left to fight for. He was never going to get out of this cave alive. He was never going to get home. He would die here, either from being tortured, killed for noncompliance, or complications with the Frankenstein creation that his chest had become. Yinsen had only the medical supplies their captives gave him, and it wouldn’t surprise Tony in the slightest if he caught some other kind of infection from the electromagnet and they let him die the slow, painful way. They wouldn’t even have to waste a bullet, they’d just have to wait while his body slowly poisoned itself. It’d take a week, tops. 

If they didn't resume water-boarding him, that was. It was taking him longer to recover each time, longer to stop shaking, for his chest to stop aching. 

The doctor made his way over, sounding resigned. “I’m sure they are looking for you, Stark. But they will never find you in these mountains.”

Was that supposed to help him feel better?

Yinsen didn’t stop there though. And with his words, the spark of indignation and stubbornness that had been extinguished the last time Tony had been forced under water, screaming and fighting, suddenly flared back to life.


	8. Please Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The odds are getting worse, and hope is fading. But not Tony's stubbornness. Never that.
> 
> *Art for this chapter by Lets_call_me_Lily found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024555)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHAMELESS AUNT PEGGY ADDITION, I REGRET NOTHING AND NEVER WILL.

With every day that passed, the insistent bubble of hope in Rhodey's chest got smaller.

One month now. A month spent searching every day the military allowed, in ever-widening circles, trying to find the slightest shred of evidence that Tony was still alive. But there was nothing. No chatter that indicated where he might be, no trace of where the terrorists that had ambushed them had gone, nothing.

And not only was Rhodey’s hope fading, but so was the patience of the military. They wanted him off this search and rescue detail and back to work. They were ready to give up on Tony altogether, a lack of faith that Rhodey hadn’t seen coming. Tony was their primary weapons manufacturer, how did they expect more and better technology to be forthcoming without him? SI had no real competitive edge against other companies without Tony Stark.

Sitting next to the pilot in a helicopter, making another circle over the endless, empty desert and mountains below him, Rhodey squeezed his hands into fists.

He couldn’t give up. He couldn’t. He had to keep going, keep pushing, keep looking. One way or another… he had to find his brother.

* * *

Tony didn’t sleep. Not that sleep offered him any solace, not with the pervasive pain in his chest and the cold that was likewise inescapable.

Instead, he spend his time planning.

It took longer than he liked, he had to keep slowing himself down, give his hands a chance to catch up with his brain, and he missed JARVIS even more now than he already did. 

He didn’t dwell, though. There were a lot of things he missed. People. Bots. Food. Booze. A body that didn’t constantly hurt.

Instead, he turned his considerable brain power into the inner workings of what he had in mind, mentally sorting through gears, wires, and hydraulics, fitting them together and creating something… big. Something that challenged him in a way he hadn’t experienced in quite some time, a mania that gripped him and made him _reach_.

The sketches took time, the stubby pencil he had found making his hand cramp up often, but he persevered, something manic gripping him. One component on each sheet, painstakingly inked when the sketches were done, indistinguishable by itself, but put together… 

He was going to get out of here. He might die in the sand outside the caves, or in the air above it, but he was not going to die in this place. If he was going to bite the dust, literally or figuratively, he was going to do it on his terms, under his own power, with a bloody scream in his throat.

* * *

For as long as Pepper had worked for Tony Stark, April 9th had been a day he always kept clear on his calendar. The first couple years, he had told her it was for some personal things, but then as they became closer, Pepper had learned about Aunt Peggy.

Peggy Carter wasn’t really Tony’s aunt, he had no aunts or uncles, but she was his godmother. And they adored each other. Tony took April 9th off work every year, so he could fly to England and spend her birthday with her.

This year was the first time in Tony’s adult life that he hadn’t spent April 9th with his Aunt Peggy.

Pepper had called the woman within hours of Rhodey telling her about the attack in Afghanistan. True to her long career as a military woman (Pepper privately thought she had probably been a spy), Peggy had kept her composure perfectly, while Pepper all but fell to pieces and sobbed over the phone.

_“Pepper, dear, don’t worry. It’s Tony. Somehow, it will be alright.”_

More than once, Pepper had found herself clinging to those words.

She had called Peggy at 2 in the morning on the 9th, about 10 a.m. in England, wanting to make sure the woman knew she wasn’t forgotten. If Tony couldn’t be there, at least Pepper could make sure Peggy knew they were still doing everything they could do find him. 

They had chatted for ten minutes or so, conversing easily after a few years of being friendly acquaintances, when a brief lull in conversation had Pepper blurting it out.

“We haven’t given up. We’re going to find him. No matter what.”

Pepper could hear the soft smile and sadness in Peggy’s voice when she replied. “I know you will, dear. Of everyone in the world, you and James Rhodes are the ones that I know won’t give up. Other than Tony, of course.”

Pepper was crying when she hung up the phone, but she forced herself not to spiral into grief and sadness again.

She did let herself get drunk, though. And Tony’s mansion was more than equipped to handle her needs.

Yes, she was in Tony’s house. Again. She still didn’t sleep there all the time, but some nights she just couldn’t seem to make herself go home.

So she’d go to the Malibu house. She’d walk through the empty rooms, hearing the awful silence, feeling the way it had been unoccupied for too long. She’d talk with JARVIS, making sure everything was all fine in the house and on the grounds, check for any updates that Rhodey might have passed on to JARVIS but not to her yet. She’d go down to the lab, her heart breaking every time she saw Dum-E and U lift their arms hopefully, looking for their dad, focusing their cameras on her before beeping dejectedly and sagging again.

She always promised that they were looking, that they were going to find him, petting their struts and telling them it wouldn’t be long now. Tony was going to come back.

Tonight, she sat on the floor of the lab between the two bots, a bottle of wine in her hand, not bothering with a glass. She’d had most of the bottle anyway, a glass at this point would just be ridiculous.

Her phone was in her hand, and she was idly turning it over and over, running her thumb over the screen and the buttons. All on their own, her fingers held down the 2, speed-dialing a phone that she knew wouldn’t be answered. Tears started gathering in her eyes as she held her phone to her ear, listening to it ring out.

_“You know who I am. You know what to do.”_

The beep following the message, following the sound of a voice Pepper wanted to hear more than anything, felt somehow cruel. After years of appreciating Tony’s short voicemail message, one she nevertheless heard sometimes a dozen times a day… this was the first time she had ever wished for a long, rambling message that would let her hear his voice a little longer.

Tears trickled down her cheeks, and a few soft sobs escaped her before she found her voice.

“Can you just… do one thing for me, boss? I just need one thing. Just please come home alive. That’s all I want. Just please come home alive.”

Her hand was shaking as it gripped her phone, and with a sniffle and a wet whimper, she pressed it to her forehead, the lit screen showing his face.

“I love you.” She whispered, tears dripping onto the phone. “I love you. Come back.”

* * *

“Are the flamethrowers… strictly necessary?”

Tony couldn’t help but smirk at Yinsen’s words. “Yep.”

“Why?”

“You saw all those crates of weapons out there. I’m not leaving those behind for them to ruin more lives. I’m burning down every single one.”

There was a pause. “You are perhaps slightly more vindictive than I thought.”

“Is it vindictive to want to blow this entire mountain off the map?”

“A little.”

“Well then, color me vindictive. I’m not leaving anything of mine behind, and if I get my way, I’m not leaving any of them behind either.”

If Yinsen disagreed with him, he didn’t say. Which was good, Tony really liked the idea of the flamethrowers.

He was gonna make the thing _fly_ , flamethrowers really seemed quite tame compared to that, honestly.

* * *

With every pertinent news report, JARVIS reconfigured his numbers.

With every 24 hour period that passed, he adjusted the calculated odds.

Every time Dum-E or U asked him, it felt like a failure to have to tell them there was nothing new.

JARVIS was unused to this inactivity. To the workshop being dark and silent for so long. He had never felt useless before, in the years that he had spent with Sir. But he did now. He maintained the security of the property, he kept an obsessive eye on any source that might bring news of his creator, but there was little else for him to do.

So he waited, and he watched. He bypassed orders that went up to one of the Stark Seraphim Tactical Satellites and kept it trained on one region in Afghanistan. He scoured social media and news outlets, searching for even the smallest rumor or hint of hope.

Every day, the numbers went lower. By all accounts, the .31% he had calculated today was near enough to zero that most people would give up.

JARVIS was not a person, though. He was more. And he was not sure it was possible for him to ever give up on Sir.


	9. The Agony of Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony takes a rather unpleasant walk, Rhodey finds what he's been looking for, and Pepper cries the good kind of tears.

Admittedly, Tony should have probably had some kind of plan for the one-in-a-million scenario that actually led to being alive and kicking when everything went down outside the cave. He didn’t, though. He must have missed that step while he was frantically trying to finish the armor. This was why cutting corners was a bad idea. You heard it here first.

It wasn’t until he had clawed himself out of the sand, admired the still-smoking ruins of the terrorist camp, and taken stock of his injuries that he realized he didn’t have a next step. What he had were tattered, filthy clothes, a whole bunch of burns, cuts, and abrasions, and possibly a dislocated arm.

He could walk, though.

So he did.

And while his throat and mouth that already burned from smoke got more and more parched, and his skin burned under the hot sun, and his legs ached from scaling one sand dune after another, his mind had nothing to do but think.

There had been plenty of times in his life that he hated having a good, sometimes nearly eidetic, memory, and this was one of them.

The end of Yinsen’s life kept playing like a loop in Tony’s head, his whispered words filling Tony’s ears. _“This was always the plan, Stark.”_

How many sand dunes could a person climb up and down before their legs gave out entirely? How many had he already climbed? How far had he walked like this, dragging his feet because the exhaustion and pain pulled on him so heavily, tugged sideways by the wind that kept rising and falling?

_“It’s okay. I want this. I want this.”_

He was gonna be in trouble soon. They hadn’t exactly kept him well-nourished in that cave, to say nothing for getting enough water. He’d been partially dehydrated for three months, and he’d been walking for… it had to be hours now. He wasn’t even sweating anymore. Heat stroke, yay. Add that to the list of things that could kill him in the immediate future.

_“Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.”_

Someone had to have seen the explosion. They had to. Anyone. Any minute now, someone would appear on the horizon, or a plane would come. Someone would come for him. Pepper… she would make sure someone came for him. She’d never give up. Not on him.

Maybe after this next sand dune. The next one. The one after that.

He just couldn’t stop walking. He couldn’t stop. Even though his feet were dragging, and he was stumbling on the edge of exhaustion and unconsciousness. He couldn’t let himself stop.

_“Don’t waste it.”_

Just one more… 

_“Don’t waste your life.”_

The thundering drone of helicopter blades came out of nowhere… and the way Tony’s heart leapt in his chest hurt even as his entire being filled with hope when he realized the chopper was American. He waved frantically, calling out, trying to run after it through the blowing sand.

_Yinsen, they came for me._

He fell to his knees as the chopper circled and came down for a landing, his dry lips cracking and bleeding as he grinned, holding up his good arm and flashing a peace sign.

_I won’t waste it._

He recognized Rhodey the moment he jumped out of the helicopter wearing his tan gear, and something sharp-edged and shuddery jerked in Tony’s chest.

He was _alive_. Rhodey had survived.

Tony wanted to get up, to run across the sand and meet his brother halfway, but he just didn’t have anything left in him. Relief had washed everything else out of him, and he could only watch as Rhodey finally got within earshot, looking pale under the glaring sun.

“How was the fun-vee?”

Tony closed his eyes and smiled. 

That was when he finally realized it was going to be okay.

* * *

Rhodey didn’t take his arm off Tony’s shoulders during the entire ride to the closest field hospital. He got them both on the helicopter one-handed, had one of his fellow soldiers open a bottle of water for him to give to Tony, and got the both of them buckled in that way. Tony’s head dropped down on Rhodey’s shoulder the second they were settled, and he had to keep jogging it to remind Tony to keep drinking, filling him in on what had happened over the past three months, shouting to be heard over the chopper. It helped distract them both from the way Tony was far too hot, his heart racing, skin dry, his pulse fluttering visibly at the base of his throat.

The field doctor was ready and waiting when the helicopter landed, and the mere sight of him made Tony flinch back, Rhodey running into him from behind.

“Let’s cool him down and get him into x-ray, we need to see what’s going on—”

“No.” Tony’s voice was hard and clipped in a way that made Rhodey wince, and he fended off the approaching nurses with the arm he could still move, apparently not really noticing or caring that Rhodey kept him walking towards the medical tent. “No x-rays.”

“Mr. Stark—”

“No. This is proprietary Stark tech, I don’t care what argument you have, you’re not taking x-rays of it.”

The doctor pulled a face at that, pinched and irritated. “Even if my argument is your well-being?”

Tony looked at the doctor with a flat expression that Rhodey could barely see as his eyes adjusted to the comparative darkness inside the tent. “The way my liaison tells it, the only one in the entire armed forces that has been concerned with my well-being these past three months has been him. So you can stick that professional care and concern right up your ass, doc, with whatever medical equipment you choose. Because nobody is touching me, and you’re sure as hell not getting a gander at my chest. Now leave me alone, and leave a first aid kit behind. I can take care of myself.”

The doctor looked pissed, but Tony obviously didn’t care. He was too busy collapsing onto the cot Rhodey backed him up to, exhaustion clearly seeping into him again after this new spurt of activity, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging down.

After a moment, the doctor apparently gave up and ordered everyone out, looking like he’d be perfectly happy if Tony dropped dead right there.

Rhodey sighed as the tent flap closed behind them.

“He’s not after your tech, Tony.”

Tony glanced at him, his hand protectively covering the glow in the center of his chest. “You don’t know that, Rhodey. I can’t trust anyone. Not right now.”

Picking up the tray of instruments and dressings one of the nurses left behind, Rhodey brought it over and sat next to Tony, cracking some of the cold packs to activate them. “How about me?”

A corner of his mouth lifted. “Yeah, okay. Just you.”

Rhodey took care of the surface injuries himself as Tony sat there in silence, tucking the cold packs under his arms and on his lap. But the other stuff, like the dislocated arm that had made Tony had cry out when Rhodey had moved it, required more.

“Tones.” He squeezed Tony’s shoulder gently, bringing the guy out of a light doze brought on by so much more than exhaustion and dehydration.

Tony grunted, blinking his swollen eyes but not keeping them open.

“Listen, I’m gonna step outside for just a minute to make a phone call. Okay? Then I’ll come back, and I’ll be right here the whole time the doctor looks you over. I will not leave your side. Got it?”

With a shaky sigh, Tony nodded, then listed to one side. Catching him carefully, Rhodey lowered him down until he was on his good side on the cot. He stood back once Tony was settled, and just looked down at the man that was as near a brother as he could be. 

He looked… exactly as bad as three months of captivity would suggest. And that wasn’t even counting the glow that shone through Tony’s fingers and the filthy, threadbare shirt. Or whatever fallout was gonna be going on in that mind.

Shaking his head, and aching for his best friend, Rhodey stepped to the other side of the tent and pulled the satellite phone from his belt. He spent the time waiting for the call to connect watching Tony, watching the way he breathed far more shallowly than he used to, the way there were still lines of pain on his face.

“Rhodey?”

“Pepper.” Rhodey’s throat suddenly tightened. “We fou—” His voice broke, and he had to clear his throat. “We found him.”

Her silence was so tense he felt like a touch would shatter it. “Tell me he’s alive. Please, Rhodey, tell me he’s—”

“He’s alive.” There was no covering up the hoarse agony and relief, and Rhodey covered his face with his hand. “We’ve got him, and he’s alive.”

If Pepper wasn’t the only one crying with relief, well… there was nobody there to know.

Just Tony.

And even if he’d been conscious, he wouldn’t have minded.

* * *

JARVIS addressed Pepper the moment she walked through the door. “Miss Potts? Is it true?”

She had been shaking for the better part of two hours now, ever since Rhodey had called her and given her the news. “Yes. They found him, and he’s alive. JARVIS, he’s coming home.”

The AI couldn’t sigh, but Pepper was pretty sure she wasn’t just projecting her own relief on him.

“The bots up? I want to tell them.”

“I let them know you were here the moment you came on the property. They are waiting for you.”

Dum-E and U crowded around Pepper as soon as she got into the workshop, and she had to urge them back away from the door as they beeped at her and nudged her with their claws.

“Let me sit down, come on, right over here.” She finally got settled on a workbench, and both hands were busy petting the bots to keep them at bay.

“They know something has happened, because you’re smiling.” JARVIS said quietly, and Pepper realized that indeed, she was. She was also crying, but these tears were drastically different from the others she had shed in front of the bots for the past three months.

“He’s coming home. Tony’s coming home. They found him and he’s coming back. He’s hurt, but he’s gonna be okay. Rhodey told me.”

Both bots turned their claws to the door, their cameras focusing in anticipation, and Pepper choked out a laugh, a laugh that felt rusty. Her first laugh in three months.

“No, not right now. It’ll probably be a few days." She had to pause and sniffle, wiping at her face and searching for a tissue. "But they found him. Rhodey found him, and Daddy’s coming home.”

* * *

Rhodey was holding Tony’s hand when he woke up again. He vaguely remembered the doctor returning, remembered Rhodey insisting on a lead cover for Tony’s chest when they had to take x-rays of his arm and shoulder. The blinding pain of getting his arm fixed back in its socket. Rhodey had made him stay awake long enough to drink more water, and to force down some food that didn’t really taste like much. And then he was allowed to sleep, Rhodey by his side, and it was the first time he’d really, truly slept since leaving California three months ago. 

He was warm, maybe a little too warm, but not cold in a cave and not hot and burning under an unforgiving sun. With Rhodey there, he was safe. He had earplugs to keep the noise down, and painkillers that had provided the first relief he’d had since his chest had been destroyed. There was still an ache, but so much more distant. And so he slept. For fifteen hours, he slept, and he knew when he woke up that Rhodey hadn’t moved at all.

“Thanks,” He mumbled, squeezing the hand in his.

Rhodey just squeezed back.


	10. Everything's A Blur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After three months of captivity, Tony finally comes home.
> 
> Embedded art by [Lets_call_me_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lets_call_me_Lily)! Go check out the other art she did for this fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024555)!

Twenty-four hours after he’d been picked up in the middle of the desert, Tony was stable enough to move to a bigger base with more protection, and he only had to lean on Rhodey a little as they boarded the helicopter that was going to fly them out. He dozed for most of the trip, exhaustion still dogging him, and had to deal with another team of handsy medical personnel when they landed.

Rhodey had to go be debriefed by his superiors, so Tony surrendered himself to medical with a minimum of complaining. Well, for him anyway.

He refused x-rays again. He allowed one nurse to look at the edges of the scarring where his skin met the reactor, using his hand to cover the tech while she fussed and swabbed at the irritated skin with betadine and some kind of antibacterial goo.

Apparently they’d contacted a thoracic specialist, just for him, but Tony wasted no time in telling them no. He didn’t even want to know if it was possible, having the reactor removed. He wasn’t letting anyone touch it.

By the time Rhodey joined him again several hours later, it was obvious at first glance that he wasn’t pleased, and he didn’t beat around the bush.

“Tony… why won’t you let them take it out? Or at least look at it and see if it's possible?”

He didn’t look up at Rhodey’s soft question, focusing instead on adjusting the gauze wrapped around a cut on his wrist. “What did they say?”

“That there’s a specialist from Hong Kong that is willing to meet us in California. And that you said no.”

Tony couldn’t explain it to him. Not in a way that would make sense. Rhodey was already acting like Tony was made out of spun glass that might shatter any second (he wasn’t entirely wrong), he couldn’t give the poor guy another reason to worry.

“It’s not the right time. Not yet.”

“Will it ever be?”

Tony huffed a bare excuse for a laugh. Rhodey knew him too well.

“Just don’t want anyone in there. Not right now. I can’t… I can’t handle it right now.”

It was half the reason, but it was true. He had a whole lot of entirely rational hang-ups and fears that he was trying to navigate right now, and the idea of putting himself back under a knife anytime soon made him want to throw up, no matter that he'd actually be anesthetized this time. He didn’t even like anyone but Rhodey touching him, and it took everything in his power to let the doctors and nurses see to his injuries without freaking out. A whole surgical team, messing around while he couldn't supervise? Hell no.

The other half of the reason… came from a dark part of himself, and Tony didn’t dare look at it too closely. All he knew was that it was Stark tech that put the shrapnel in his chest that made the arc reactor necessary. His weapons that had killed those soldiers that day, that had nearly killed him. In a roundabout way… he had done this to himself. And he couldn’t take any of it back.

* * *

Coming home… it felt like a blur.

Rhodey holding him up and walking him down the ramp and off the plane was so surreal, and even though he’d been expecting it, Tony still wasn’t thrilled about the small crowd that awaited them.

His eyes found Pepper first. Out of all the people waiting, Tony’s eyes found that red-blonde hair first. He could see from a distance that she’d been crying, her face slightly splotchy, blue eyes red and slightly swollen.

She had brought him home. In ways than she would never know.

And she smiled when she saw him, happy, relieved, and something almost exasperated on her face that made it seem like nothing had changed at all.

Everything else might be in complete uproar and disarray, but Pepper… she was just the same.

And as he descended the ramp, setting foot on American soil again for the first time in three months… that kind of saved his life all over again.

* * *

Okay, maybe calling a press conference at SI immediately after stepping off the plane wasn’t Tony’s best idea. He was working on a headache, the burgers were sitting like a lead ball in his stomach, and his legs felt oddly weak and wobbly. He sat down quickly at the base of the microphone podium before he fell down, noting the confused, worried, and curious looks he was being thrown. Trying to distract both himself and everyone else, he pulled the last burger out of his pocket, even though he definitely wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Hey, would it be alright if everyone… sat down? Why don’t you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can...” _Not fall over._ “A little less formal, and...”

It passed like a blur. Like most of the past several days had. But Tony said his piece with utter conviction, the words coming not easily, but surely. He had one crystal clear snapshot in his mind of the moment every reporter surged to their feet in an uproar, but the rest of it was muted and fuzzy.

He passed by Pepper when it was all over, noting the shock on her face, and hid in his office upstairs for an hour, locks engaged. It was long enough for the reporters to leave. For him to have a drink (the weight of guilt in his stomach at the thought of what Yinsen would say nearly had him running for the toilet) and re-center himself.

And then, fingers tapping idly on the glass casing of the reactor, he went to the heart of the SI compound. The reactor. And he knew Obie would find him there.

* * *

Tony didn’t really expect to sleep, not the first night back. So he didn’t bother to try. After looking at the carefully arranged cards and presents that had been lined up in his living room (probably by Pepper), and deleting every single one of the 1,713 voicemails he had, he headed down to the workshop. He needed to know what was going on inside his chest, and avoid what was going on inside his head.

He didn’t expected to be bombarded the second he came through the workshop door, nearly getting knocked to the floor when Dum-E and U crowded up against him.

“Okay, guys, c’mon, take it easy—JARVIS, a little help here?”

“It took everything in my power to keep them from meeting you at the front door, sir. I don’t think there’s anything I can do.”

Surrendering himself to being poked and prodded and having his toes run over by excitedly beeping bots, Tony but a hand on each of them and let them do their thing. They went over every inch of him, from his hair to the different bandaged cuts on his face and arms, touching very gently over his hurt shoulder… and then stopping when they got to his chest and saw the light shining there. The tones of their beeps changed as their claws both tapped very, very gently at the reactor, and he was pretty sure there was a conversation happening between them and JARVIS.

“What are they saying, J?”

JARVIS' voice was impossibly gentle. “They are asking why you have a heart like them, sir.”

Yeah. Okay. He needed to sit down.

All but collapsing, Tony let his bots take his weight, and they supported him effortlessly, lowering him slowly to the floor so his back could rest against the door. They didn’t back off, however. Their claws still petted and poked at him, ruffling his hair and nuzzling against his cheek and still staring at the light from the arc reactor.

He let them. He needed a moment anyway. He closed his eyes and took measured breaths of fresh, not stale, air. Let himself feel the way the room was warm, not unpleasantly cold or blisteringly hot. Listened to the sound of his computers, the bots, and if he listened really hard, the faint sounds of the surf.

It was everything the cave wasn’t.

Eventually he got to his feet, swiping his sleeve across his face to clear away the wetness, and shoving all those emotions and broken parts back into their box in the back of his mind as he gently urged the bots back.

“Scanner, J. We’ve got work to do.”

* * *

It was obvious that Tony hadn’t slept when Pepper got to the mansion the next morning. For a moment, she wanted to leave, give him a day to recuperate, but then he looked up from where he’d been sitting on the huge couch fiddling on his new phone and saw her.

“Miss Potts, you look fresh as a daisy.”

“You definitely don’t.”

“Such flattery.”

It felt so normal, so easy, that Pepper had to take a deep breath and clear her throat to keep herself from crying. “I can come back later. I just wanted to see if you needed anything.”

“I want doughnuts. And a Coke. Literally everything off the menu of that Italian joint I passed out in on my 27th birthday. Like six coffees from Starbucks, all my favorites. Did any good music or movies come out while I was gone? Did we go to the moon again? Any good scientific papers?”

Pepper was staring, she knew she was, but she couldn’t quite stop. “I can… certainly check on… all that.”

“Coke and doughnuts first. I have a craving.”

“I’ll have Happy go get them right now.” She went to turn around, then remembered part of the reason she’d come today and paused. “Um, Mr. Stark… your voicemails—”

“Yeah, I know, I probably shouldn’t have deleted them. Too late now, though. Can I grovel and beg forgiveness after I’ve had my coffee?”

“You… you deleted them? Without listening to them?”

“Yep. All 1,713 of them.”

She had… extremely mixed feelings about that. When she had woken up on the workshop couch the next morning, after that night she'd gotten drunk with the bots for company, and left Tony a voicemail… telling him she loved him… Well, panic had been the least of her reactions. And now, a crushing sense of relief and a rather prickly sense of outrage were warring for dominance in her head. “Oh. That’s… that’s a lot.”

“Yeah, you’re not kidding. You want coffee?” He was rummaging through the cupboards.

“Um, no, I’ve had some. Do you want Happy to pick up anything else? Breakfast burrito or pancakes or anything? Have you eaten at all?”

“Does a smoothie count?”

“Did Dum-E make it?”

“Yep.”

“Then probably not.”

Tony sighed as he examined a bag of coffee beans, then dumped it on the counter. “Yeah. Have Happy stop at Starbucks, all of these are open and stale. I’m gonna go take a shower so hot it melts my skin off.”

“Right. Have a good time, boss.”

“Oh, I plan to.”

Pepper stood awkwardly in the kitchen for several minutes after texting Happy, her brain and emotions a scrambled mess. It was only when JARVIS politely asked her if he should retrieve any of Mr. Stark's personal voicemails from his trash bin that she shook herself and refocused.

"No. That's not necessary. I'm sure there was nothing important."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hides behind couch* I know, I know, I'm sorry!


	11. You're All I Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months pass, a suit of armor takes form, and all kinds of evil come slithering out of the shadows.

Okay, admittedly, watching the multitude of horrified, terrified, and grossed out expressions on Pepper’s face while she had replaced the reactor later that day had been _hilarious_. Cardiac arrest notwithstanding.

And yeah, he probably should have told her that U was literally at the ready with a vacuum tube specifically to suck up all that plasmic discharge she’d been icked out by, but it was funny, so sue him. He had kinda forgot about it until she was in there anyway, and it seemed cruel to point it out after the fact.

And afterwards, when she had gone to the lab bathroom with the old reactor to wash her hands and probably freak out a little bit, Tony tapped his fingers absently on the new reactor and realized… that was the first time he had laughed since before everything happened.

Of course it was because of her. It was always her.

* * *

Tony had known that Obie wouldn’t go for this new project, his reaction after Tony had shut down weapons development a couple weeks ago couldn’t have made it more clear. Obadiah loved the money too much, the power, the admiration and status in being the US military’s primary weapons contractor. Tony had thought he loved that too.

Interesting how many things he was learning about himself recently. Things that his latent conscience were letting him know about.

It hurt, though, to have Rhodey cut him off, to refuse to listen to the rest of Tony’s explanation when he visited the base, brimming over with excitement about the potential he had tapped into with the suit. To have Rhodey, his Rhodey, the man he'd been best friends with since college, suggest that his mind was off-kilter and wrong? That hurt in ways that he hadn't felt before, and Tony had been pretty sure he was familiar with just about every kind of pain there was by now. Silly him.

He had spent nearly two decades being wrong, putting his faith and his tech in the wrong places, even though he'd thought it was for the right reasons. And now there was fight at every turn when he tried to do the right thing.

Was he going to be completely alone in this?

He spent a week brooding. Thinking. Trying to get over the hurt, to force himself to understand the distance there was between himself and literally everyone else. He just... it was continuing to surprise him, in very unpleasant ways, how much things had changed.

Finally, he made his decision. To move forward, even if he'd be doing it alone. He remembered how to do that. He'd grown up like that.

“JARVIS, you up?”

“For you, sir, always.”

* * *

After that, June and July passed on a wave of inventing, testing, creating, building. He stayed out of sight in public, he didn’t go to SI hardly at all, only to get books he needed or files that he only kept on the SI drive. He all but lived in his workshop, surviving on smoothies made by his bots and as much caffeine as his espresso machine could pump out.

He knew Pepper was worried, Rhodey too, after he’d come back. But at least this part wasn’t unusual. Taking refuge in his workshop and spending weeks on end working on projects was where his true value lied.

August brought with it the possibility of an injunction at SI, but also the reality of flight. And Obie could handle the former. 

The stabilizers needed work, the boots too, but now that what he wanted was a reality? He needed the rest of the suit to go along with it. 

September and October passed him by as he kept on working, creating a suit that was a hundred times better than what he’d had to scrape together in the cave. It was stronger, more powerful, sleeker, made with the best materials and machinery.

And then in November he achieved flight, _real_ flight, the kind that had his heart racing, his adrenaline pumping, his eyes fixed on the moon as he went higher and higher. The fall wasn’t super fun, or destroying his gorgeous blue Shelby, but that all paled in comparison to what it had felt like to be free like that. The thrill that made him feel more acutely alive than he’d ever been before in his whole life.

Then, of course, he found himself with some time to waste while the new suit was fabricated. And a few opinions to prove wrong.

“Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.”

“Don’t wait up for me, honey.”

It had been over six months now. Surely there wouldn’t be any harm in going to his own party. Show the world he was still alive and kicking. Prove that he wasn’t gone, wasn’t bedridden, wasn’t incapacitated with PTSD. Show his face before he revealed the biggest, most advanced technological creation he had ever come up with.

It would be a piece of cake.

* * *

She had briefly _lost her mind_.

That was all Pepper could conclude as Tony left the roof to get them drinks. She had just gone temporarily insane, that was all it was. 

It was probably Tony’s fault. He’d caught her off guard by just showing up, but then… they had danced. He had managed to put her at ease and wind her tight with tension just with the look in his eyes, the way his gaze kept dropping to her mouth, the way his calloused hand felt resting lightly on her naked back, this thumb occasionally brushing back and forth across her skin. Putting her under his spell without any effort at all. Making her lean in to take a kiss that she didn’t… couldn’t have.

She had spent several years now, maintaining that distance that she had insisted they keep between them. And one dance made her want to throw every bit of that aside, coming within a literal inch of changing everything in a way they couldn’t come back from (no matter how badly she wanted it).

Pepper waited for Tony to come back, lost in thought as the minutes passed. By the time she had pulled herself together, she realized he had been gone far too long to just be getting them drinks. She was just on her way to go find him when the sound of a powerful car engine being pushed to the limits caught her attention, and she glanced down over the edge of the balcony just in time to see Tony’s silver Audi peeling off down the street away from the concert hall.

He… had left her there.

Pepper gritted her teeth and pushed back the crushing wave of pain that immediately descended.

She didn’t have time to be upset right now. She didn’t have a right to, either. She was Tony’s PA, and nothing more. And if Mr. Stark had taken off like that, she probably had damage control to do.

Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, Pepper turned on her heel and went back down to the party. It was time to go back to work.

* * *

Planting his fists on his work table, Tony blew out a slow breath that shook with anger.

All this time. Six months of doing exactly what Obadiah asked, to find out that he’d been walking himself right into a trap the whole time. Stepping aside far enough to let bad things happen, the kind of bad things he had _sworn_ to stop.

Stripping off his jacket, bow tie, and silk shirt, Tony threw them to the side and untucked his tank top, keeping his anger front and center as he got into a different headspace.

He had work to do. A lot of work, in a very short amount of time.

Tony looked down at the finished flight stabilizer gauntlet that had been placed on the table by one of the bots. Something bitter rose up in him as he mentally ran the calculations for the changes he needed to make, the repulsor turning from something innocent and good to something familiar and sinister.

It wasn’t meant to be a weapon. It had been meant for so much more, with such a different kind of potential. But he didn’t have a choice now.

Obadiah had forced his hand. And Tony would not let things stand as they were.

* * *

Okay, the bullet holes in his brand new suit kinda pissed him off. And the amount of bruising he had was reminding him strongly and unpleasantly of crawling out of the sand after the Mark I’s first and only flight.

But having Rhodey back on his side after the dogfight over Afghanistan? That was more than worth it.

Pepper too, come to think of it. She knew now, knew what he’d been doing, what it had all been for. She was ten different kinds of shocked and horrified, but that was fair.

Now that he knew the suit would work, would do everything he hoped it would, he needed a game plan. He needed targets. He was going to take them down one by one, until not a single Stark weapon existed in hands that hadn’t gotten them by legitimate means, before he’d shut it all down.

He just needed a hand with this particular part of it, he thought as he put the finished lock chip down on the table. He hoped that he could count on Pepper to do it for him. He didn't have anyone else.

* * *

“You’re all I have too, you know.”

Pepper left that statement hanging in the air as she left, the lock chip in her hand making her equal parts afraid and angry.

She didn’t want Tony to be right. She didn’t want him to ever be put in harm’s way again. She didn’t ever want to see a single new bruise or scratch on him, or any more pain in his eyes because of some weight of guilt that she couldn’t ease.

But she also… she didn’t want him to be wrong either.

She was distracted by her thoughts the entire way over to SI, driving on autopilot, her eyes frequently straying to where the lock chip was stashed in her purse. Once she was in the building, however, her focus sharpened. And she became acutely aware that she was absolute garbage at acting or being any kind of sneaky. She was shifting on her feet, her eyes darting around at the cameras in the elevator, her arm clenched protectively against her purse. 

The walk to Tony’s office, a walk she made several times a day, every single day, felt like a walk down a dark alley filled with snipers and prying eyes, and Pepper couldn’t help but look around like she could feel the crosshairs on her back. 

If she hadn’t been so nervous and scared, she would have been disgusted with herself.

She was all but vibrating with nerves as the lock chip broke past the security measures, and it just got worse as Tony’s suspicions were confirmed. Then she saw the video file, watched it in horror, and a sick sense of dread all but consumed her.

It all made sense now, in the worst way. How Obadiah had always made her uncomfortable, for seemingly no reason. The way she felt ill at ease in his presence, and discomfited with the way he treated Tony. The way he always seemed to be able to sway the Board in whatever direction he wanted, with an empty smile on his face.

He was _evil_. 

The vaguely sexual comments he had always made, with innuendo just barely within the boundaries of being appropriate, hidden by careful words and a false fatherly demeanor. The way he always seemed to loom, over her, over Tony, over others, making his presence overwhelming and intimidating. Those things had just been inconveniences.

But this. This was confirmation of fears she had never considered.

“So,”

Pepper gasped and jumped as a living nightmare manifested itself in the doorway, Obadiah Stane standing right there, watching her.

“What are we gonna do about this?”

* * *

Tony was absolutely certain, as he lay paralyzed on his own couch in his living room and watched Obadiah leave with the arc reactor in his hand, that he was going to have nightmares about that moment. How his body was completely, painfully immobilized and he could do nothing but watch as the very thing that kept him alive was forcibly pulled from his chest. By a man that had been a father figure to him for fifteen years, a man that had paid people to kill him. The way he had smiled, and evil light in his eyes as he looked greedily, almost lovingly, at the reactor before pulling it from Tony's chest, and leaving him there to die.

It hurt every cell of Tony's body to pull himself off the couch. To drag himself, empty reactor socket scraping against the floor, to the elevator, hauling himself up enough to stand on his feet and hit the button to get him down to the workshop. To the one thing that could save him.

He pushed through the pain. Lives counted on it, so many lives. But most importantly…

_Pepper._


	12. A Fitting End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stane's plans unravel, Tony makes a big reveal, and something that was missing comes back.

Waves of gray and black fuzz wove in and out of the edges of Tony’s vision as the supernova-bright light from the reactor overload and following explosion faded, leaving a Pollock painting of neon lines flirting with the impending unconsciousness.

He was… well, he was hurting all over, in a way that seemed to go hand-in-hand with wearing the suit. He could feel his heart stuttering as the depleted reactor in his chest sputtered. The emotional side of it all was something he was trying to ignore, a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the arc reactor and everything to do with Obadiah.

The black that slowly crept further and further inwards was taunting him, coaxing him, whispering at him to let go. It promised peace. No pain. A resting ground with a soft landing and an eternal, dreamless sleep.

Tony closed his eyes, hesitating, unsure if he should reach towards that promised relief, the sound of the struggling, sputtering reactor in his ears.

Something else too… far off in the distance, a desperate, panicked voice calling him back. A voice he knew, a voice that promised better things than death did.

“Tony!”

Pepper’s voice.

Her high heels clattered as she climbed the metal stairs up to the roof, and Tony heard her coming even as he felt himself slipping into an unconsciousness that didn’t end in a grave, because the arc reactor was hanging on. As if it had drawn strength from her voice just like he had.

“Tony! Tony, are you okay?! Tony!”

He felt the thump of her falling to her knees next to him, one hand finding his, the other brushing his sweaty, grimy hair away from his forehead.

“Tony, please… please… I can't lose you again.”

He just managed to whisper her name. “Pepper.”

She sobbed at that, painful and relieved, and cupped his face in her palms. Tony opened his eyes just enough to see her, focusing in on her perfect blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair hovering above him. An angel that had pulled him back, even when it might have been better for him to go.

“I heard you.” Tony’s lips felt slow and sluggish, but he forced the words past them on shallow breaths as his eyelids fluttered closed again.

“What?” Pepper’s hands on his face were shaking just as much as her voice.

“I heard you.”

* * *

Tony ran his fingertips over the smooth, flawless leather on the couch as he waited for the other man to join him in his office. 

Charles Richardson was the senior director on the board, and the first business call Tony had made after the debacle last night. Charles had been around long enough to know Tony, Obadiah, and Howard all equally well, and he had a solid head on his shoulders.

Aside from Obie, Tony trusted him the most.

Which, considering what had happened to Stane, didn’t say much for Tony’s judge of character, now did it?

But JARVIS’ thorough and entirely invasive scan of every director on the board backed Tony up on this one, so he had that going for him.

A knock on the double doors had Tony standing up, adjusting his tie and suit jacket. “Come on in.”

Charles looked as uncertain about this meeting as Tony felt, heading for the spot on the chair opposite Tony that he indicated.

“Richardson, thanks for stopping by.”

“Anytime.” The man’s gaze flickered to Tony, then away again. “You look a little rough around the edges, there. You alright?”

Tony’s lip quirked up in an attempt at a half smile. Was he?

Obie… Stane had been clever about everything he’d done to remove Tony from the company. Working quietly behind the scenes, manipulating all those strings just how he wanted them. Urging Tony to lay low and let him handle it. Leaking rumors to the media about his mental state. Laying the groundwork from the moment Tony had shut down weapons manufacturing. And when it hadn’t been good enough, well, he had said he was an iron monger, hadn’t he?

“How long has it been going on?” Tony asked, watching Charles closely.

The older man looked… ashamed. He tried to meet Tony’s eyes, but he couldn’t seem to manage it, and he sighed as he looked down at the polished table instead. “From the moment we found out you’d been attacked. And then… even more, when we got you back. It’s so obvious now, but… I didn’t see it then.”

Something hard and painful clenched in Tony’s stomach. “As far back as that?”

Charles nodded, the wrinkles on his face more pronounced. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I should have.” He finally looked up and held Tony’s gaze. “I watched Obadiah work your father for years, steering him where he wanted Howard to go, making sure the routes he wanted were always easier. Howard was no dummy, he knew when it was happening. But it was hard to say no to Obadiah.”

Tony looked away first this time, his gaze falling down to his hands as he nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t use it as an excuse. I need you to know that, son.”

Tony nodded as he stood up. “I understand. I do. And it’s over now, so… we’ll move forward.”

Charles stood up as well, looking older than Tony had ever seen him, a weariness on his face that he probably hid around the others. “I am sincerely sorry, Tony. For your loss, and for the betrayals.” He held his hand out, tentatively, as if he were prepared for Tony to reject it.

Tony clasped his hand tightly and nodded. “Thanks. The funeral is in a few days. You don’t have to attend, but… it will look better if you do.”

“I’ll be there. You won’t be the only one there putting on a face for the public, I promise you.”

Tony appreciated that. He really, truly did. “I’ll be giving the eulogy. You’ll have to let me know how I do.”

An angry scowl twisted Charles' features. “Far better than that man will ever deserve. I already know that much right now.”

With a crooked smile, Tony shook the man's hand again and headed downstairs. He had a press conference in fifteen minutes, and Pepper was waiting with her makeup kit to get him presentable. Along with that agent from the obnoxious long-name place that seemed to pop up everywhere. He’d have to poke around that hornet’s nest later.

* * *

Pepper’s fingers stilled on the pocket square she was fiddling with when Tony said the words.

“Tell me you never think about that night?”

He said it immediately on the end of his previous crazy (and also far too true) thought, which was just how his brain worked. It never stopped, not even for a pause between sentences.

Pepper hesitated briefly, her eyes flicking up to his, and her very first thought was the night Rhodey had called her to tell her Tony had been taken by terrorists. The night she thought she’d lost him forever.

She felt the smile slip from her face, but couldn’t pull it back. “What night?” 

“You know.”

Oh. That night.

Well, to be honest, she was still hurt by that night. Enough that blowing Tony off and making him feel uncomfortable was kinda nice, really.

She might be in love with him (still not saying it out loud), but that didn’t mean she had to settle for the playboy Tony Stark.

He could be better. They both knew it. She was going to give him a chance to be that. And if he meant it, if he really did want that girlfriend that was always worried but also proud, he’d rise to the occasion. That was a thing he did.

She hid the smile on her face as she headed out to stand at the side of the press room, watching Tony do his thing for the reporters, mugging for the camera.

And then, as it always seemed to happen… he did the unexpected.

After a long pause, a pause that was almost palpable, he said four words that changed everything.

“I am Iron Man.”

Pepper’s eyes fell closed, a flurry of mixed emotions welling up in her, along with half-formed reprimands she longed to shout at him. He was so incorrigible, so impetuous, so reckless… so brave. He was the man she loved. Every broken, genius, attractive part of him.

Opening her eyes again to look back at his face, his eyes sparkling over a faint half-smile… a tiny smile of her own curved Pepper’s lips.

* * *

It was their seventh interview since “the announcement” a few days ago, and Tony was starting to near his limit. Every single reporter asked the same series of questions, and he was at the point that he was going to start adding a creative flair to his answers. Pepper would _love_ that.

Reporter number seven was a newbie, one that seemed all uncertain and nervous, so Tony took pity on her, trying to keep himself focused. It was difficult, though, and not only were his fingers tapping incessantly on the table he and Pepper were sitting at, but his leg was bouncing up and down so much that the floor was shaking subtly.

Luckily, the interview was nearing an end.

“With all the upheaval going on with your, erm, reveal, Mr. Stark, nobody seems to be questioning Obadiah Stane’s absence.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Tony snarked brightly, and Pepper kicked him under the table.

Tony… he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t. 

A smothered chuckle turned into a giggle, which turned into a guffaw, and a second later he was in the middle of a laughing fit that hurt like a bitch, but it also felt like a weight falling away.

And then, he looked over at Pepper.

She was hunched over in her chair, her face in her hand, her shoulders shaking. But not from crying, or a possible mental breakdown (both very likely scenarios).

No. She was _laughing_.

She was laughing, and trying to cover it up, the part of her face that was visible coloring red, faint snorts and choked off sounds escaping.

It was like years disappeared all at once, and for just a few minutes, it was like it had been in the beginning. When any moment Tony spent making his new secretary laugh was the best kind of moment, when a flush on that freckled skin and a sparkle in those blue eyes was everything he lived for on the walk between his office and the elevator.

Pepper sat back, her whole face bright pink, her eyes watering as they met his, her smile so wide it had to hurt in the good way.

It was the best thing Tony had ever seen, and it made him laugh all over again, with utter joy.

The reporter looked absolutely bewildered, and somewhat concerned, as Tony Stark whipped his handkerchief pocket square out and passed it to Miss Pepper Potts, the both of them laughing like banshees as they took turns dabbing their eyes.

Tony’s voice was thick with laughter when he was finally able to speak again, several minutes later. “Miss Potts… I have missed you so much.”

Pepper reached out and grasped his hand for a moment, smiling bright and sincere. “I’ve missed you too, Mr. Stark. I’ve missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, folks! I hope you enjoyed the ride!
> 
> I will be adding the links to the art from my IMBB artist, Lets_call_me_Lily, later tonight!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art Post: Personal and Working Relationships](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024555) by [Lets_call_me_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lets_call_me_Lily/pseuds/Lets_call_me_Lily)




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